Ashamed of past

Ive always had a problem with alcohol although I am a lot better now. I used to drink regularly between the age of 16-25 to the extreme where I just never knew when I had had enough. This led me to get into states where I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

Unfortunately I got into situations over the years where I had a few one night stands with men and would not have done had I not been drunk.


When I met my husband who I have now been with 12 years he asked me questions about my past and I told him the truth. I have never questioned his past and I'm not bothered by it anyway, I know he has had a lot more partners than me.

My problem is that one of the men I had a brief relationship with turned out to be the brother of my husband's brothers wife. I'm so ashamed because I know my husband is not aware of this but I'm to frightened to own up.

My husband is a bit of a stress head he is not violent but can be controlling in other ways. We do have otherwise a very good relationship but this guilt is not doing my self esteem any good.
I love my husband very much but don't feel I can be open about this as I am so embarrassed.

Have you any ideas how I can deal with this as I beat myself up over it on a daily basis, I have never been unfaithful to my husband but have friends who are unfaithful to theirs who don't seem to bother about it.