confused about my husband

by ashley
(new york)

My name is Ashley and I'm 22yrs old. Me and my husband have been married for almost a year now. When we first got married life was great. We had great communication and he really seemed like he loved me. Then 6 months into the relationship I had to go out of town for a few days. My husband screamed at me told me I might as well stay gone since I was leaving him and he couldn't come. (I was on a field trip with my little sister). He made me feel terrible that I had gone on this trip.

Well when I came back a week later I found out that he was talking to one of my friends while I was gone and they were talking about having sex and he was asking her to send nude pictures. (He still denies that they did anything). When I confronted him about this he tried to push the computer from me and got real mad. All he kept saying was don't tell anyone I don't want anyone hating me. So for almost 2 weeks I didn't tell anyone about this and I tried so hard to find out why he had done this and tried to talk to him. He refused to talk to me about it and told me I should let it go. It wont happen again. Then when I told him that I didn't trust him any more he told me well you don't have to trust me just don't leave me.

Finally I broke down and told my mom and his family what had happened and I told him I was thinking about leaving him. He threatened to kill himself if I left him. He texted me while I was at my moms and said I'm taking a bottle of pills goodbye. So me and my mom went running over there and she started yelling at him how could he say such a thing and he was on the bed laughing.

We fought a lot that next week and he even punched the wall in my doctors office because he knew I would stop so he wouldn't cause a scene. We have been having a rough time lately. I agreed to stay with him because he agreed to get help and talk to someone. He went to one meeting and hasn't gone back since. He is very controlling and I'm not allowed to really go anywhere without him. He doesn't actually tell me I cant go he throws such a fit til I say I wont go.

He constantly bashes my friends and tell me he hates them and calls them names all the time. He doesn't like me talking to them because they know what he did to me and they do not like him. He does not want me to lose weight and every time I try to exercise he throws fits til I just give in. What bothers me is he's so nice to me another time. He buys me things and showers me with love when he wants to.

When I became sick he took care of me. But when something goes wrong now a days he yells at me. My friend said I should leave him but I'm afraid he will hurt himself. And then recently we got into a fight and I tried to get away from him and I got on the computer and he was like oh your talking to another man huh... if you are I'll punch you in the face. When I flipped out about what he said he told me he was joking. Please help me