Controlling Husband

by Sanjanna
(UAE)

I m 24 and my husband is 29. I have been married for almost 2 years which would be in this Aug. It was a arrange come love marriage but I didn’t have feelings for him to love him completely from the day I got married. It easily developed as the day passed.

Initially I had issues with my in laws on something about home, and my husband used to support me as he use to see that I use to all of things what they expect and then things were becoming better and then again some issue used to come up. So, me and mother in law stopped talking, talks we had were only work related, if she wanted to go out or anything of that sort.

During these fights, I use to tell him let's get separated because I cannot stay in a stressful life of coming back from work and listening to all this. He was very adamant about not moving out and I used to tell him that I will leave you and go because I couldn’t take it. It was very stressful for me, I used to get sick too often.

And this topic use to come and go. Out of the blue, he has started taking control over me (commanding me) which I am not liking, he is not letting me meet my friends, go out with them on weekends to have my own time, he doesn’t let me wear dresses saying his parents don’t like it, and these things were never a issue previously.

I tried to work out things from last 5 months by l listening to him, not meeting or talking to my friends. He just keep saying listen to me and things will work out otherwise please pack your bags and leave as I don’t want to stay with such person. He doesn’t let me go out anywhere without him. He doesn’t doubt me but he doesn’t want to sort it out my talking. Whenever I try, he raises his voice or walks off .

I am very fun loving person, I like to meet people, enjoy going out with friends but I'm not allowed to do all that. Now, I am always depressed and sad and smoke a lot more than before. I have lost my smile, I have lost myself in this relationship.

I don’t know what do I do? We are in 21st Century but still girls are treated like sh*t by their own husband/partner? Aren’t they supposed to be equal because we are working, educated and responsible as men are? Then why do they behave like a jack***.

Shall I give up or keep compromising without any expectations in this relationship because I am not going to get what I want, even if it’s a small desire I am not suppose to let it out.