expired visa expired life

by Lena
(new york)

I got to this country then I was 20 happy years old girl from Russia, overstayed on my visa but didn't care that much because it was different.

I had wonderful 5 year relationship with a guy from Europe who was living here in the USA. He asked me to be with him to go back to Europe I said no. I was dating some people who went to medical school etc but every man knows my visa problem and using me by promising to marry me its so hard to be like this. I don't work in the hospital nobody would hire me obviously and every man just promises to help so I could have better life but they don't deliver.

I met a nice man 5 months ago who knew my problem and promised to help we having great time together he is nice but he is backing up I can feel it .. and I said bye and good nite to him tonite and got back to my room and was crying like crazy ( we don't live together). I'm a 34 years old woman now. I was relatively young when I got here I don't know anything else beside USA. I don't know what to do how to live? I live in limbo.

I want to have husband kids great career but with expired visa its not possible. I cant carry that anymore I cry to God everyday why do I deserve this? or am I plain stupid? Normal good American guys don't want to date an illegal (which I'm not anyway) but some guys promise and don't deliver. I cant live like this any longer. Fake money based "marriages" not for me either..Wait for amnesty to revive my visa or go back to Russia?

After so many years I'm "an American girl" inside. i went to the lawyer he said only marriage will help me but good decent American guys think that me or girls like me only "use" them for a green card which is not true at all. It's the circle I cant break seems like that .. How to live ? I don't know.. Sorry for my English if I made any grammar mistakes.