I am so alone at 36 years

by Tabby

Thanks so much for your forum. I am 36 years old female. I am miserable because I am alone - I have so far gone through 4 break ups and it is taking a toll on me. I cannot function anymore. I don't believe in love anymore. I met a guy recently and everything seemed to be going great until he told me he wants to be "just friends" because though I have good traits... my bad traits were rubbing him the wrong way. He says I am possessive and compulsive with my relationships and asks me all the time" have you always been like this with all your relationships?". I am starting to believe there's something wrong with me. I have a great career and make good money - I pay my own bills - I always worked hard because I thought when I have everything else - love will find me... My job and success does not give me joy any more.


I want a family so bad that I am so miserable. I don't enjoy anything any more. I don't go out or call my friends, siblings or mom. I just want to stay in my bedroom forever and not talk to anybody. I just want to fade away.

I pretend things are great because I don't want my mom or anybody to know how I feel inside. I put on a great show at work and in public - a fake "happy me" but all in all am lonely and miserable. I am tired of acting this way.. I want to be happy - is there hope for someone like me? If I will never meet someone to share my life with - is there a way I can learn to be happy without love/family/husband?? I Please help. Thanks.

Comments for I am so alone at 36 years

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be happy
by: Anonymous

I think you are very lucky that you have money.

I am 36 also, I'm incredibly lonely but the worst thing Is I want to join clubs go out etc etc- but because of lack of money- I'm actually stuck!

Please see how lucky you are - go out and make the best of your time.. If I could I'd join every sports club in town and be out all the time.

You are blessed, enjoy it and you might meet the right person. It's all about having the right attitude... you can do it!
Devote your life to something else
by: Anonymous

I'm 45 and and guy who has no friends at all. I never go out. I just wander around on Saturdays in the nearest town. I do a bit of shopping. Go home. That's it. At work I do all the science training, all the maths. But I'm not befriended by anyone.

Whenever I've ever been nice to girls they've always rejected me. So over the years I've learned that women are best avoided, even though I would like to make friends with them.

Also I'm a terrible lookist - if that's a word. I only like girls with nice legs and good figures and pretty faces. I'm never interested in a girl if she's ugly and fat. Who is?

So I have always played outside my league in the past, and got badly bitten. That's put me off ever trying.

So now I use my entire life to do what I'm here for: suffer loneliness. After all, we all die alone. Why make other people suffer at our passing. There's lots of things to do. I'm trying to write a book about oil running out and what will happen in 2030 if democratic politicians fail to make the right choices! So I am full of things to do - to fill my life without the need of love.

When I die, I hope that no-one will grieve or even notice because if they do then I have failed. I have caused suffering by my death and that would be a terrible thing to inflict on others.

So find something else to do. The years pass pretty quickly. Soon we all have to pass into the infinite world of dead matter.
Subject
by: Anonymous

Don't worry man, go out with your friends. . .go to some places alone, not necessarily social events, learn piano, dancing or something after hours or casually, try and make more friends. Remember some men are scared of approaching a woman, especially when you're in a group(I'm Male, and I'm one of them).

I mean I also thought Love will find me later when I'm all set and everything, then I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend, fitted the dream girl description in my head perfectly. . . and now we're pretty intense, I'm an a**hole sometimes, but she's perfect - apart from minor flaws that her good parts outshine. That was three years ago. . . and I'm thinking of marriage, not too soon, but she's definitely the one.
I ran away from every other girl. . . never wanting to be one to break a heart, I just stopped seeing them, blocked their numbers etc. without a word :D. I'm sure they understand.

________________________________________________

Thank you for giving your support and advice.

Love,
Kay
x
alone at 36 years
by: Anonymous

Sometimes if you try too hard to make something work, it does not work out. Maybe you have to do some work on yourself first as sometimes if you are too eager, you may push the other person away if they feel you are coming onto them too strongly. You need to take anything slowly and it is a good idea to go out and join something of interest where you can meet people.
Everyone wants someone to love and a feeling of belonging, that is a human wish but often a feeling of neediness, you may put someone off.
Just relax and find something to look forward to each day, or make some plans for the future.

It is so easy to feel rejection if someone does not want your friendship or love as you feel as though you are not worthy but I am sure that you are and that one day you will find the right person but you must take it step by step.

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