I can only focus on the negative.

Shortly after the birth of my 7 month old son, I lost all self confidence and began dwelling heavily on negative thoughts. Ive always had issues with depression.


I feel like I'm just worn out. My stepfather was very abusive throughout my childhood. I wasn't allowed to attend school and I didn't really have any friends or anything to do growing up. He was out of the picture shortly before my 15th birthday and I started high school.. after not being in school for 6 years. It was very hard but at the end of my freshman year I had a 3.8 GPA.

Around that time I found out I was pregnant. I dropped out of school with plans to obtain a GED and attending college once my baby got a little older. Well, something just seemed to 'happen'.. I started withdrawing from my friends... ignoring their phone calls, basically avoiding them. I'm only 17 and it just seems that everything's faded away..

I love my son very much and it doesn't have anything to do with him. I just wasn't ready for how much I was going to physically change.. I just feel really alienated. Its very hard for me to socialize and painfully hard for me to look people in the eyes on some days.

The instability of it is what gets to me I suppose, because there are some days when I'm completely fine, aside from the fact that there is never a non-critical thought going through my head about myself!

Comments for I can only focus on the negative.

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negative thoughts
by: Kay

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

I know how tiring it can be after the birth of a baby. The body goes through such huge changes during pregnancy and after the birth.

I am uncertain whether you have anyone to help you at this time? Is it possible for you to get a family member or a friend to watch your son for you, if not in the evening, for an hour or so throughout the day so that you can have some quality time just for you? Being able to go off for a walk in the park on your own, or a slow look around the stores, could help you feel better within yourself.

Being a mother is a big responsibility and it seems to me that you are enjoying your son. Don't lose sight of your dream to further your education though! It will assist you greatly if you can continue with this.

I am uncertain what part of the world you are in, but is there anywhere you can contact with a view to finding what your options are? Possibly studying at home, or arranging a baby sitter to enable you to go to college? Is there an organization that helps young mothers in this way? Maybe a Citizens Advice Bureau that can help you.

I think sometimes when we become mothers we tend to take second place to everything and neglect ourselves, giving everything to our children, who of course are so important to us.

However I feel it's necessary that you realize what a worthwhile young woman you are, and the way to do this is to tell yourself! You say you focus on negative things, but if you really think about it, you can choose to focus on positive things. You really do have a choice.

You have so much going for you in your life, a beautiful son to love, friends who ring you who care about you and want to see you, why not change the way you think, and start to appreciate yourself? Get in touch with your friends, don't let them slip away, phone them and invite them round for a coffee and a chat.

Would you enjoy going to the gym to work on yourself? Would this make you feel good? They might let you take your son with you if you ask. Try to think about things you can do. If you can't get a sitter during the day, take your son for walks and smile at everyone! Smiling at people makes you smile inside, give it a try!

Start talking positively to yourself, and whenever a negative though comes to mind banish it, and replace it with positive words.

Work on your dream and make it a reality. Only you can do this, stay positive and don't let anyone tell you it's not possible. Because anything is possible, you just have to believe it is and then start working your way towards it. Unless you make the effort, things will stay as they are.

I hope everything works out for you. Good luck to you and your son.
Love
Kay

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