I don't know why I feel so down on myself

by ashley
(Florida)

I am 24 a mother and wife. I have three kids and here lately because I don't drive I am mostly at home with the kids. I take care of them and the husband 24/7 with little time for myself and when I do try to do something for myself my husband wants me to sit with him or not do it.

I feel so low and ugly and I don't know why. I hear I am pretty not as often as I would like from the ones that matter most but here and there I do. On facebook I see a lot of my female friends get all kinds of compliments and their children but when I post pics I don't get barely any. I am getting to the point where it has become an obsession and Its making me nuts.

I went out tonight with my husband and I couldn't even enjoy myself I was feeling so low. He told me just throw on a shirt and go it's for the kid's. I did and when we got there all the women were dressed nice or in cute costumes and my husband couldn't keep his eyes off them but wouldn't even put his arm around me or tell me Ash your gorgeous don't even worry about it. He says he doesn't want guys to stare at me so I don't need to dress sexy or do my make up but them he looks at all the women who did dress up.
I'm confused. I felt so low I came home and cried.

I just don't know what to do to feel better about myself I always see all the other females getting so much attention and always look just that much better. I have worked on my inside for years trying to be sweet kind and nice loving others but now I feel like on the outside I'm nothing. Its starting to effect what I feel about my personality because that's not even fun anymore when I'm always putting myself down to my husband and upset I don't feel pretty.

Help me please I have even thought about killing myself over it.