I feel depressed and have lost all hope
by david
(London)
I am 29 and I live in England. I have been living here for the past 10 years. Since moving here I have graduated from university and thought my life was on the right track. Having left my home to come here I was inexperienced and definitely not streetwise. I took out credit cards without realising the consequences. Now I am in nearly £8000 worth of debts which should never have happened.
To add to my worries for the past 2 years I have been living in the UK illegally with the fear of deportation on my mind every single minute of everyday. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep. I live in this constant state of fear and worry.
The reason I'm here illegally is I came as a student as all my close family was over here. I lived with my grandmother back home. I felt that I needed to be closer to my family over here. After I studied for 5 years and married my longtime British girlfriend my marriage broke down before I could get my indefinite leave. With no other option and no one to go back to in my country of origin as my grandmother passed away as I was living here i did not see any other option but to overstay.
I speak perfect English and most of my friends don't know that I am an overstayer. I consider England to be my home after 10 years as I moved over when I was 19 when I was just becoming a man.
All my friends and the people that I hold close to my heart live here. With debt collectors chasing me and the fear of immigration officers bursting through the doors at any time I have contemplated suicide. I have no one to turn to as I can never tell my family the truth. I need your advice. That's all. Thank you.