I Hate My Life

by Alexandra
(Canada)

I hate my life. I'm barely a teenager and I feel like crap almost everyday. I find myself bawling at least once a week. Sometimes I saw the words "I want to kill myself" and I start to cry even harder.

It all started less than a year ago when my parents switched me into a new school, I was a bit of a nerd at my old one so I thought this was a time to reinvent myself; it was the worst mistake I had ever made. It was a private school so the classes weren't big, either you fit in with the group provided or you spend your time wandering around on your own. I was given the popular crowd so I took it, I didn't look very nerd so I could manage.

I hated leaving my old friends though and my new ones, because I was too afraid to tell them the kind of person I really was, they didn't understand me. I missed and wanted my old friends back but I couldn't so I became miserable! I talked back to my parents refused to do my work, didn't study half as long as I needed to for tests.

What hurt even more is my parents don't seem to care, I almost never acted up before they switched my school and now I don't have an off switch. I try talking to them but the only time I have the courage is when I'm mad at them and they always shout me down.

I feel like I have no control over my own life. I feel like I'm nothing. The only reason I've not killed myself yet is I'm afraid of what's on the other side and I have a huge talent and love for writing. I think I have something great to offer the world but I don't know how long that is going to last; I'm sending my book to a publisher this summer and when they tell me its crap than I don't know how I'm going to convince myself.

I just want to be able to tell my parents what's going on, I want to be me again, I want to have my old friends back, I want to stop crying.

Comments for I Hate My Life

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i know how u feel!
by: Kate

Im almost a teenager too! & i go through the same problems. In 6th grade I went to this school and I loved it and then the summer going into 7th grade I got a letter in the mail from my school that said I cant attend that school anymore because I'm not zoned and, so in 7th grade I start this new school and I hated it from day 1 & still hate it. I have 2 more months left of 7th grade and I'm HOPEFULLY moving back to my old school for 8th grade.. (the school I love, and went to in 6th grade) I hope things get better for you. & you ain't alone on this one. I understand how you feel.

its gonna be alright
by: Steve

Hi, I understand how you feel but I want to tell you that you don't have to change in order to fit in. In this world there are a variety of characters and in each place there are people with the same character and I am sure in your school there are a number who are just like.

You need to appreciate who you are and be yourself.

About your parents, it's not that they don't care, it's just that you haven't opened up. I know it's not an easy task but you should try to sit down with them. Anyway you can try writing them a mail and explain what you're going through and tell them that you really need their help and that they should sit down with you and hear you out.

Please just be yourself. You are wonderfully created and you are the only one who can be 'YOU'. I know I may not be of any help but try GOD, he will solve all your problems.

With care,
steve

Life
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. You are living a lie no wonder you are unhappy. You are not being true to yourself and this is causing all sorts of problems. You shouldn't have to change yourself to fit in with people, people will either accept you for who you are, or, if not then you find others who will want to be with you.

You haven't said why your parents switched schools and I am wondering whether they thought you weren't performing as well as they felt you could, and so changed schools to help you do better.

I feel it's important that you talk to your parents. Not when you are angry because they aren't going to react in a positive way, but you need to sit down quietly with them and explain how you are feeling. Let them know that you are unhappy and tell them how you have being acting differently to try and fit in with the others, but this hasn't worked. Give them the opportunity to let you know how they are feeling.

Being open and honest in a calm sensible way will enable you feel better and, I hope, help you to become true to how you should be.

Surely you can stay in touch with your other friends, there is no reason why you can't see them on the weekends is there?

Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

Love
Kay
x

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