I hate the way things are. Nothing I do changes it... And no one knows that I have anxiety disorder

by Too personal to not be Anonymous
(USA )

I'm 18 first year of college almost done and I have hit my breaking point. I hate classes but can't drop any of them because my financial aid would be affected. I could drooled earlier but I didn't think the classes would be so dreadful. Not to mention the fact that my professors all seem to be narrow minded on their ideology there's no room for personal growth at least not this semester.


Another issue I have with school is the students I can't seem to make any real friends. Which is something I have never been good at, I couldn't call anyone a friend before my freshmen year of high school. The irony now is of the friends I made during those four years I only still see two of them and only one do I talk to regularly. So to sum up education and friendship = double suckage.

Now onto family, overbearing and extremely strict parents (I've never been allowed to go anywhere by myself, excluding school, till this year and I can only go to the mall) it's not sonar but it mars me feel like they see me as a child. But mug rents are not the issue I have a complete and total b*tch for a sister in law who at first ignored me and acted like I didn't exist. Now she wants to blame me for all her problems. She proclaims the issues we have are because I never gave her a chance. Which is false because I being someone who for most of my life having no friends am desperate to please. I have no self esteem. I hate the way I look the way I talk sometimes, the way I can't seem to fit in with the rest of my family.

My last point is something no one in my family knows. I have anxiety I don't have a do for prescription but I've read the symptoms and I know it for sure. Before when I was a kid every once and a while I would have an attack I'd hide in my room and completely freak out. I never let anyone see me and I had no explanation I as a kid I didn't know what anxiety was I couldn't go to my mom and be like hey I just had a panic attack just FYI. Now I have better control I can feel them coming so I do some routine like task to calm down and slow my heart rate. Usually it works but with all this added stress I can't take it any more I'm getting attacks more frequently. To be honest writing about it make me shake a little bit.

Please can someone help me my last full on attack happened two days ago and I can feel an even bigger one coming my stress relieving methods and anxiety calming tools are not doing the trick like they used to I'm always on edge with nerves I am at a loss I need help.

Comments for I hate the way things are. Nothing I do changes it... And no one knows that I have anxiety disorder

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Your Anxiety and other problems
by: Anonymous

Hi,I'm not sure if you are male or female, but does not really matter. Your stress levels seem a bit high at the moment.

The good thing is you are 18, and soon you can do something about it. If you can get through school, so much the better. Your parents are obviously still treating you as a child, try telling them that you are becoming an adult, and thats the way you would like to be treated. You can only be controlled, if you let yourself be. Your sister in law... Seems to me that she has sensed your low self esteem,and is now playing on it, be straight with her,and tell her what she is saying is not true, and put her straight.

When you venture further than the Mall, maybe life will bring you new friends. Maybe you are introverted, and like just a few friends. Life sometimes can be a vicious circle, once you have sorted out your education, got a job, the world can become a much bigger place to find new interests, new friends and your parents will not have so much control over you, you can then develop your personality as an individual. As you grow older the problems you have now will become smaller, as you concentrate on your new life.

At the moment get rid of the stressful things that are blighting your life. Dont let the sister in law play you. Stand up to your parents with a new attitude, all these things will do wonders for your self esteem. Learn anything that will bring your stress levels down.

Remember, this situation is NOT a permanent thing,no situation stays the same. I hope you have a happy life
Nothing I do changes it.
by: Anonymous

Kay is right in what she is saying to you but I would like to add that somewhere is someone who can help you. You must have good friends who believe in you or have you an older relative to whom you are close. Sometimes talking to someone who is older and wiser and who has been through the mill and knows what it is like does help.

Also there are people out there who feel the same as you are feeling. You are not on your own and maybe there is someone else whom you can help. Even helping someone who is really down can boost you a lot.

When you are caught in a trap of disbelief it is very hard to get out of it. Avoid Job's comforters at any cost and you must know who they are. There is something and someone out there.
Do you belong to a church or is there a self help organisation you can join. I have been there and done that
Hate the way things are and anxiety
by: Kay

What you focus on becomes your reality. Change the focus you have away from what troubles you. I know this wont be easy but the more you focus on what is wrong the worse things are going to get.

There must be things that are good in your life at the moment. There has to be something worthwhile surely? Think hard on this because you have the rest of your life in front of you and unless you change those thoughts of misery into thoughts of good things you life is going to spiral downwards.

If you're unable to think of anything good start planning on what you would like to happen and then put thoughts in to action to make what you want become real.

You are young, you must have hopes and desires? Focus on these, dream big and visualise them as already having happened and make them come true. Much better than concentrating on what is wrong and making these things appear in your life.

With regard to your illness I urge you to seek medical advice. How can any one help you if no one knows you think you have this illness. You may even find that you have misdiagnosed yourself and a course of medication may solve your problem. Unless you seek help you will never know.

Good luck. Remember, what you focus on becomes real in your life, so change your focus and have a great future.

Love
Kay
x

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