Insecurity and negative thinking
I started hanging out with 3 girls from school that I have never talked to before. One of them was tall and skinny with blonde hair, the other weighed 95 lbs and looked like a stick and the other girl looked exactly like the last.
I always felt a little insecure in my life but after hanging out with them it got to a completely different level. We would go to the pool and they would complain and say they couldn't swim because they were so fat and after a while I started to believe that I was fat too. I started dropping weight and every time I came home my mom would always make a comment about how I was just skin and bones and needed to eat. She would throw money at me and tell me to go to McDonalds.
I also started hanging out with the wrong people and started having a horrible relationship with my parents. Whenever I would come home I would always cry and be really depressed and upset and would do just about anything to get out of the house.
I then started becoming extremely paranoid and weak. I was so embarrassed with myself and felt that everyone was so much better than me and sometimes I felt like I really have nothing to live for. I also always felt very negative towards everything, I never wanted to leave the house I always wanted to stay away from everyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone I was just so upset with myself. I would always try to make myself happy and cheer myself up but I couldn't.
I have been trying for about a month now to make things better again for me, but I can't and I really need some advice to guide me through this.