john g!

by john
(statesville nc)

I was sheltered all the way to 15 because I was homeschooled. When I turned 15 I had only 2 friends. The one friend was a girl that I grew up with. That year she gave her virginity away in a hotel room. I read the catcher in the rye that year and felt angry at god.

I was sent to a christian school where I was the class nerd for 4 years. Graduated and dropped out of college because I was 18 years old and knew nothing of life and had no idea what to major in. It cost 7 grand a semester so I thought it would be smart to leave until I knew what to do.

Turns out I spent the next 12 years making minumum wage. working like an animal in sweatshops and factories getting nowhere. I asked girls for dates I tried to find love and no girl would ever give me a chance. At 25 I met a drug addict. at 28 I met a girl who never reciprocated anything. She didn't act interested in sex, never did dishes, clean house, clean the cat litter and so I did it all after my 12 hr shift.

So now im 30 years old and I don't know how to feel other than angry. Everyone says believe in god, or life is about choices!! Or stay positive. but it's all the same...empty and full of blame. Unless you're god you're never gonna be able to know what the right choices are 24/7. so that explaination really p....s me off.
I have seen crackheads on the street get farther in life than me so f... that explaination. Life is about choices my ass. Life is about beauty and money that is about as simple as it gets. Without this nobody will give you a chance and you just end up a slave to desire or a slave to your job.