LONLINESS ,NO GOOD FRIENDS AND LACK OF CONFI DENCE


(INDIA,)

Iam a student of 3rd year BDS studying in MANIPAL UNIVERSITY IN KARNATAKA . Iam finding it difficult in making friends. Whenever I get along with some of girls who are in my hostel they ditch me. I feel as if they all are very selfish whenever they have some work they come and talk to me and when the work is over they ignore me. Ifeel bad and lonely.


My father is a Railway Officer and is moody and strict. I have been brought up in a strict environment. Because of transfers, always new school every 2-3 years and my father was posted in small places. I feel am capable of doing so much and want to do and achieve my goal of doing PG and further studies. With this lonliness and insecurity of friends I AM NOT ABLE TO CONCENTRATE on my studies. PLEASE give me some solution to my problem. I am very fun loving and talkative but I become self conscious when I feel that I am alone and people around are ignoring me.

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I Feel the Same Way
by: Anonymous

I am a woman in my 50's and am well mannered, well groomed, attractive (people say) and willing to buy a friend at this point.

My sister despises me, she said when my Mother died that Mother left her a curse. ME
I am always apologizing to her for things she says I do wrong, and I am so loving and kind to her.
Example: When I tell her I miss her and love her and would like to visit, she blows up at me and says she does not "get along" with me, and it is ill-mannered to invite myself. She says she does not like me to tell her I miss her, that it is corny. I am not allowed to call her after 9pm. One time I called after 9 by mistake and she had her husband answer and tell me to leave their family alone. I send her gifts, and if I ask if she liked them, she says "no wonder Mother left me to manage your money. you would squander it in no time!" She told me she returned the make-up gift I sent and got her money back. I am apologizing for everything! She is Trustee over my money and if I ask her a question, she says she does not want me to bring up anything about the Trust. When we went to fix affairs after my Mother died, I lost my luggage at the airport, she rented a car. I called her on her cell, frightened, all alone in another city. She said she is not parking at the airport.. she is going to the house. I wound up taking a cab at 1 am.

My grown son(s) are not speaking to me though I have apologized a hundred times. What the older one said he was angry about was that the birthday present (a nice T-shirt) was a stupid gift, that he preferred money, and the T-shirt looks like it is for a woman. He also said the card was torn on the edges. (the card was made that way, it was embossed and ordered special for him). He said the card looked like I cut it out of a magazine to save money!!! The younger son will not talk to me because he says he must stick to his brother's side.

After my Mother died, I tried contacting some old acquaintances and all of the 5 wanted nothing to do with me.

As an example, one woman I used to go to school with who I found on the Web after days of searching and called after not seeing or talking to her in 10 years said to me (after I said, Hi, I bet you will never guess who I am (I was so excited to talk to her), said she knew who I was and I had a lot of nerve to call her that late as she just got back from a trip (it was about 930PM) and wanted to go to sleep. I apologized profusely... she will not accept my calls anymore.

Why doesn't anyone like me or want to be my friend???

I am at the point to offer money to someone in return for friendship!!!


______________________

You spend too much time trying to please others. You are over dependent on them for your happiness and they want to be left alone.

There are those who don't like people apologizing for everything, so, I would advise you to step back from the neediness that you show.

lack of confidence
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Friends come into our life and move on, some we stay in touch with, others we never see again. Don't judge people, accept that this is how they are. When you judge them and find them lacking, you become upset and negative and this doesn't help how you feel.

Accept the friendships as they come into your life, and let them go as they end, don't take it that you aren't liked, or that you have been used as they end.

You know you have capabilities and have goals to achieve in your life. Make these a top priority. Your future is the most important thing in your life at this point.

Offer friendship where you can, but offer it in a confident way, knowing you are a special person. Like who you are, be strong, let friendships unfold without trying to rush things. Good things take time.

Good luck
Kay
x

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