Low Self Esteem

by Krissy
(California)

I have always had periods of what I call funk in my life. I will just highlight my childhood. Molested from 4-7, my mom was a drug addict, arrested when I was 10. Raped at 16 and I didn't tell anyone so I ended up pregnant and had an abortion. I had counseling, but there were obviously some issues that have carried over.


I have a wonderful husband. He is a little insecure, but he is always telling me I am beautiful and wonderful and he adores me. Recently like within the past year I have been feeling like I have really low self esteem. And it is weird because I have had many blessings this year.

I never had a mom, and recently a nice woman came into my life who has opened up her family to me and kind of filled a void for me. I also recently started attending a church that I really like - this woman also goes there. I feel like I don't deserve any of this.

Also, for some reason, I don't want to be married anymore. Like I said, my husband is a good guy so I am not sure why I feel like this. Also, I feel like the only time I feel calm is when there is some crisis in my life. Maybe because people give me attention when there is a crisis? I am not sure.

I am very easy going, but sometimes, I feel like I create situations that make for crisis because that is where I feel comfortable. The only thing I can think of is I do this because it brings me attention.

What can I do to boost my self esteem, because this is where I think the attention seeking is coming from? And also, why do I feel like I don't want to be married? Thanks so much for your help.

Comments for Low Self Esteem

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Low self esteem
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Because you suffer from low self esteem you feel unimportant, not interesting or as important as other people in your life. When you have a crisis in your life you become the centre of attention, and for a short time you feel better because people are taking notice of you and are concerned for you.

The people who get concerned about you care about you whether you are in crisis or not. You don't have to have problems in your life to make people care about you. They do, and they will, because they love you.

The problem you have is within. It's all about how you feel about yourself. You are amazing in that you have coped so well with your past and have a happy marriage with a man who loves you. Most important is that you also count your blessings. You now have to accept that you definitely deserve all the goodness and love that comes to you from your man and your friends.

Your feelings of low self esteem are making you feel trapped and you may want to get away from everything because of this. Don't give up on your marriage because of low self esteem. You deserve happiness, and if it is found within your marriage it must surely be worth holding on to.

Concentrate on how you feel inside. Tell yourself constantly how worthwhile you are. How loved you are, and above all let yourself know how much you love yourself, that you are beautiful inside and out. It's more important to be beautiful on the inside than on the outer! Your self talk is vital, and you need to have a positive attitude towards yourself.

As you become more confident, and you will when you start believing in yourself, you will become a strong determined person more able to cope.

I wish you good luck.

Love
Kay
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