Low self-confidence in my skills

by BB

I'm not sure how old I used to be back then, but I just never used to pay much heed to my talents and skills.


It's because of that blissful ignorance I was once a good dancer, a great cook, fiercely energetic in sports, smarter in my studies, happier when I used to paint, eager when I used to write, and joyful when I used to think.

People would compliment me on these humble skills, praising my limits and knowing just how good I was and most often encouraging me that I could be a lot better than I thought I was.

Then I don't even know what happened, or when it happened for that matter, but all of a sudden I just started to become more conscious and aware of the things I did.

I felt so small in this world as I saw others around me a thousand times better than what I could ever dream to be. Rather than being encouraged I found myself feeling apathetic to the things I once sought pleasure in; I gave up and gave in to this stupid fact that I suck at whatever I do, and I can just never be good enough or even better at what I do.

Now when I sing I just hate hearing my voice on the recording, when I draw something I tear it up immediately because I hate what I did. I just don't bother dancing anymore because I feel pathetic for once thinking I was good, I feel like a moron for even believing in the fact that I wrote exceptionally well, everything I cook tastes disgusting - nobody eats what I bake anymore except myself.

My list of nothingness just goes on and on - it never ends. I'm so miserable in this world at anything I try to do because I feel like if I can't be great at something I love, then life's not worth living in anymore.

I feel so horrible and miserable, I've just given up hope in anything and everything. I was an idiot for thinking I could once upon a time be the girl that stood out in the world - sure; I'd have stood out as the retardicon of the century instead. Thank God I stopped myself in time before doing anything that I'd end up regretting for sure.

I feel like killing myself because I'm an empty bag - just a useless space in this non-existence. Kill me now, please?

Comments for Low self-confidence in my skills

Click here to add your own comments

low self-confidence
by: Kay

Hello BB,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

I felt very sad as I read your message. Sad because everything you say is true, because this is what you believe of yourself.

Can you read your message again slowly, and listen to your self talk. It's terrible, and full self loathing. Do you realize that when you focus on something with a passion, this is how you become? Your thoughts make you the way you are.

Your totally negative thinking is making you unhappy and believe it or not, you might not like to hear this, but you are actually choosing to think this way about yourself. You have caused your own misery.

Each of us has freedom of choice, we can stay positive and reap the rewards or we can stay negative and wallow in our misery.

Why have you chosen to think these dreadful things about yourself? Why are you steeped in self pity?

No one is better than you, it is only you who thinks they are. Love yourself, change your thoughts and become the way you want to be.
Of course you can be great, you are great, but the problem is you don't believe that you are.

Everything you are is because of your belief system, change the belief you have of yourself. Count your blessings, I am sure you have lots. You can sing, so what if you aren't in tune, who cares, do you enjoy singing? then sing and feel thankful that you are able to.

Stop looking back into the past when first you were capable, and then you let others take away your power, and became this empty vessel that is so unhappy and filled with misery.

Decide today that you are a beautiful worthwhile human who is as good as everyone else she comes into contact with. One who can write, sing, cook and be how she wants, and let no one stop you.

If you don't agree with this, then I am sorry but you will always be the way you are now.

My intention is not to hurt or upset you, but to make you realize that you do hold the power within to become exactly how you choose. Why choose nothingness over happiness?

So please, consider this, that it truly is your choice, and you can change your life if you want.

Don't look back, start singing today!

Love light and rainbows,
Kay

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Need Personal Growth Advice?.