Low self-confidence, no purpose

by Lory
(Round Rock, TX)

Me, 40 years old

I am 40. That is hard. I don't have a 4 year degree. I have a husband and 2 kids. I have always wanted to be a homemaker but we needed two incomes so I have cleaned houses for 13 years to make ends meet. My husband is successful and he is ashamed of me for what I do, and I think my children are beginning to be ashamed of me, too.

I am intelligent but have no confidence. I have been this way all my life; grew up in a alcoholic/domestic violence household where my mom was abused and demeaned. I've never felt normal and hide from social situations. I recently tried to start a new catering business but it is failing, which has brought my depression to new heights.

I wish I could disappear without hurting my kids. I am just a drain on my husband. $30,000 in debt + house and it's all my fault. I can't summon the courage to get a "real" job after all these years of cleaning houses alone. I need help.

Comments for Low self-confidence, no purpose

Click here to add your own comments

Chin up
by: Anonymous

Trust me being a homemaker is a joke in todays culture. I have been one for 19 years and it stinks. I have money but no happiness. I am alone and have no friends. I would much rather work. I cant stand where I am in life. I would give anything to have a career.

I am now 50 with a materialistic life yet I was raised humble and a good christian. Weird how this all changes us as life moves on. Now. All I want are friends. Forget the husband they are no good after a while as it is all about them. I just have to get employment a divorce and see what happens.

You probably feel better after reading these messages. And to know I left out the gory details.

Low self confidence, no purpose
by: Kay

I felt sad as I read your message, because I believe the fact that you are working at any job at all is something to be proud of. Cleaning houses is a 'real job.' How can it not be? There is a definite need for your services otherwise there would be no such thing as house cleaning. Do not be ashamed of what you do, feel proud that you are having an input into your family finances, no matter how small, or insignificant you may feel it is.

Are you sure it's not the fact that you feel you are not 'doing your bit' that makes you think your husband is ashamed of what you do? I hope you are mistaken and that it is your thoughts that are causing the problem. You cannot possibly be a drain on your husband.

I believe the mother is the most important part of a family, she is the lynchpin that holds everyone and everything together, the cog in the wheel. You are essential in the lives of your childrem. Remember this the next time you wish you could disappear. Without you they have nothing.

Don't let things get you down. Believe you can do things and when something goes wrong, don't look on yourself as a failure, look on yourself as an achiever who is not going to let things get her down. Accept it as a challenge and forge ahead.

Because things go wrong at times does not make you a failure. If this were true we would all be failures! When you start to feel low remember how valued you are as a mother, how fortunate you are to have a job. Love yourself for the way you are and stop thinking others think less of you. You are a hard working mother and wife who cares for her family as well as striving to hold a job, to help the family cope.

I wish you inner strength and happiness.
Love
Kay

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Need Personal Growth Advice?.