Low Self-esteem and no confidence

I am 16 and in high school.


My low self esteem and confidence makes me unmotivated to do anything. I feel like everyone is staring at me and constantly judging me saying stuff like "that kid is retarded" or "that guy is ugly."

I constantly have negative thoughts. I never have anything positive to say about anything or about myself. I constantly tell myself I am stupid or why did I say that. I get really bad anxiety if I have to talk in front of the class or even talking to someone new, so I tend to be quiet and not talk.

If I hear people laugh and someone looks at me, I think that they are talking about me and making fun of me. I am too scared to hang out with my friends because I am afraid that they will think I'm stupid for the way I act.

Comments for Low Self-esteem and no confidence

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by: Anonymous

I'm 23, a mother of two beautiful children and an awesome cute husband. There's only one problem. I have zero self esteem and zero confidence. I don't know what to do. I beat myself up everyday. I feel ugly, I feel like a bad mom, a bad wife. I barely have any friends. I feel like I'm getting worse everyday. I too feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me. I've been teased growing up and I don't know if that's my problem or what? What should I do? I don't want to go in stores any more or anything. I just wanna stay home.
Felt that way too
by: Anonymous

There's a lot of good advice I see for you. Only thing I can add is that 35 years ago, I felt the same. When I went to college I had some of the same fears, until one day I got my lunch, slithered to the side and dared to look around - no one was looking at me! It was a revelation and many fears went away that day. It was like someone opened a window and let fresh air in. Also, fight those negative thoughts! You are not alone.
18 year old with terrible self esteem
by: Anonymous

I am writing about my daughter . She is 18 and in my opinion she has the worst self esteem ever. She had her first boyfriend when she was 13 and was with him for 4 years. He was a different type boy , not like her and she actually ended up really NOT liking him . He ended up sleeping with her best friend at the end of relationship.

She then immediately started going out with a fellow that is even more different than her and a really odd fellow. They are total opposites . He has no energy , no ambition, no friends , no interests, no personality. This fella basically doesn't talk. He spends his time napping . He is 5 years older than her. He doesn't shower much either.

I know looks aren't everything but my daughter is beautiful ... and these two boys are very typically not good looking. And I am not trying to be mean ... just saying ... bad teeth, very short , tiny stature ... she is tall, long blonde hair, very attractive girl.

Yesterday she broke up with this guy and cried all day and then went and got him back today. I don't think he has the energy to notice they were even broke up .. what is wrong with her??
Finally, someone i can relate to!
by: Anonymous

I'm glad to say that i go through the same exact thing. And I mean EXACTLY the same. Only difference is that I'm younger than you and I am female. I thought I was one of the only people who actually insults myself every day.

I completely understand you, it's hard to go through a life when you feel like there's no point in living in it anymore. I know someday I will go past this stage (and it is hard to tell) and hopefully you will too. :):
low self esteem and no confidence.
by: Anonymous

Go to a relative or family friend if you are feeling down, keep away from people who put you down, someone will see something good in you and encourage you. The people you think are confident often put other people down as they themselves feel the way you do but do not want other people to know that and so they puff up and try to make out a front to the world, I am capable etc,

Take one step at a time and do what you are best at. and keep on doing that. If you are good at crafts etc, if you like reading, if you are musical do that.
Low self esteem and confidence
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I can totally understand how you are feeling because I, too, had the same problems you are going through. Only you can help yourself, and you will probably find that throughout your life you will have to make the effort to put yourself forward so that you appear to be confident.

The thoughts you have about what other people think about you are all in your mind, for how can you know what's going on inside their heads? You have to start changing the thoughts you have about yourself, these are a huge part of your problem. Change your thought from "I am am so stupid" to "I am so clever". Feed positive thoughts into your mind, even though at first you don't believe them. You have spent years feeding all the negative thoughts to yourself and you believe those don't you? So it must make sense that you can feed strong positive information into that mind of yours and make it how you are.

Even now (and I am old lol) I still beat myself up for saying something that I feel was stupid, I think we all have regrets at what we have said. Everyone gets anxious at speaking in front of people, this is normal, some people suffer more than others, I think if you can keep saying to yourself "I can do this" and take a good deep breath before you begin to speak, this will help you. It is important that you don't think thoughts of dread, but feed yourself positive words that you are OK and you can do it. Of course the more often you speak in front of class the more confidence you will get and the easier it will become.

Don't stop hanging out with your friends, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that they all have fears but put on a brave face and keep going, where as you are holding back and letting your fears spoil your life.

I would also like to bet that a new person feels as bad as you do, and I think that if you ask them about themselves you will put them at ease and will no doubt gain a thankful friend. When you find you don't know what to say to people it's a good trick to ask about themselves, their hobbies, favourite singer, movies, anything that will get them to do the talking. Become a good listener, and slowly you too will be able to respond to their questions.

Remember to have positive self talk, this is the key to helping you to become more at ease within yourself. When you have a negative thought push it away and replace it with a positive one, this is the answer to improving how you feel.

Stay determined, and don't give in!

Love
Kay
x

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