My controlling husband

by Jill
(England)

My husband is becoming a very controlling and selfish person. He shouts and screams at me because he has no money, because he has to pay the rent, and that I don't give him anything. I don't get paid much but I pay my fair share towards the bills and food.


Recently I lost my job but he is still shouting at me because he now has to pay the rent and the bills.

My husband forced me to close my own bank account and made me open a joint bank account with him but he wont let me have access to the online banking and controls how much money I have.

I recently found out I was pregnant, and because he was having to pay more money with me been on his health insurance he took me off it.

I returned to my homeland England recently with the help of my family, and now my husband is calling me selfish because I am not there with him, and things would be different if I was.

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Controlling Husband
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

I am wondering whether your husband has always tried to control you, or is this only since the recession, where many people are becoming stressed and not able to cope financially.

When you allow yourself to be controlled by another person you give away your power. This in turn can lead to low self esteem and feeling trapped because of not being able to communicate how you feel for fear of being shouted at, belittled, or even hit.

You are now safely with your family who love you and want to assist you. You have some thinking to do! I can only advise you to go with your heart, your inner feelings.

If you want to stay with your family, stay with them. Don't let fear of your husband weaken you to go back to him, he may continue to rule you and the way you live, almost to the point of trying to control your thoughts and taking away your will.

Be true to yourself, and be the person you want to be, hold on to your power, this is your strength, and it will enable you to make the right decisions for the future of yourself and your baby.

Trust your inner thoughts, let them guide you because they know what's in your heart and what it is that you want.

Good luck for your future life.

Love
Kay

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