My Home is my Castle

by Elizabeth

Some years ago, I had a visit from a friend who proceeded to criticise my home, and said that she would come out and tidy it up for me, later on. A lot did need doing, and as it was I had started to do some spring cleaning which she was not aware of.

I had also been helping a friend to move to another home.

She had only visited my place before I had moved in, and did not realise that I had put in a lot of work, tidying up the section, and getting rid of a lot of rubbish which I had to have carted away in a rubbish skip.

Needless to say I refused her offer of help as I had resented her attitude, and it took me some months to quietly let her know that she had offended me.

She had a nice home into which she put all her energy but she had little else in the way of interests not being a very social person. She had other issues in her life, she had done little about.

I may be busy as with other matters, and things might not be as they should be, but I hope people will take me, my house, garden and cats at face value. After all a home is a home regardless.

Not everyone has a spot in their home where they can put all their unfinished work, sewing, craft and art, they can just walk away and shut the door on it.

They may have standards in regard to their own homes, they may choose to have immaculate homes in which no speck of dust or dirt is allowed to enter.

My home may not come up to their expectations but so long as I can provide them with a clean cup of tea and my bathroom is clean and hygienic, could they have anything to complain about?

My home is my castle, regardless of whether it is a castle, manor house, cottage, mobile home or tent. It does not matter if I live in a palatial home or a hovel, that place is an extended part of me, it personifies who I am, what my interests are, and the energy field of my family and myself.

It is a haven to which I can retreat, where I can work on my hobbies, meditate, browse, read, play my music, share my experiences and my thoughts with my visitors, or just think.

To me it is my temple, a place that is unique to me. The visitors I have are welcome if they accept me and my home as they find it and they treat me, and my home with respect.

I believe that when you go to visit someone you go to see them for themselves, and not their surroundings. If their home is such that you would not have a cup of tea there, you do not go again, just make some obscure excuse and forget.

Voicing criticism is like a body blow to someone, as their home is part of their self esteem.

Comments for My Home is my Castle

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Castles are individual
by: Anonymous

Our home is our castle. We dont look up to anyone else's, and we dont look down either. We respect anyone's home, because as has been said,everyone likes theirs the way they prefer.
That said, a 'friend' come to ours before Christmas, with her daughter and grandson that we invited for a Christmas roast dinner. They had hardly got through the door, when the friend whispered something in her daughters ear. Apparently the grandson had dressed their tree,as a 6 year old would, and the friend resented mine! I thought how rude she was. She is a widow, who still goes out to work to earn money, and I always admired how hard working she was, and weve always tried to support her without being patronising.

We wont apologise for our circumstances being different to hers( I have been in the same position as her in the past) but it's like she blames everyone else for what she sees as having more than her,and she resents it. I seem to be getting the back end of her jealousy.

When I was on my own, I had other people around me all the time that had more than me, and quickly realised that I was going to envy people permenantly,if I did not do something about it. I learnt to be happy with what I had. I had my own home, was out of debt, and had a job. What I had left at the end of the month, I would treat my self, have something to look forward to. Thought can change everything
I always get teased for being too neat!
by: Anonymous

I have the opposite problem!
I like everything to be tidy, and come from a household where things were always disorganised and untidy.

As I live alone, I have the luxury of sorting things out and organising things so they all fit in to my small space. There is no one else to make a mess and I tidy things away as I use them, so I'm not endlessly doing housework. I'm happy living like this, and accept everyone is different and wants to arrange their houses as they please.
However, I am continually getting comments about how I'm sooo tidy, and some people even say they are embarrassed to invite me to their houses unless they have tidied first. This puzzles me, as I'm not playing 'ideal homes' and at no point do I pull the moral high ground or 'this is what it should be like', I'm happy to accept everyone as they are. Yet people often make comments along the lines of 'this is so tidy - you'd be shocked at the state of my house' and then go on to justify their lifestyle - "well I have children/ a messy husband" which puzzles me even more - I haven't brought up tidiness, nor suggested they should be, nor even pointed out I am.
Its just what people seem to say. A bit weird really and it makes me feel like a bit awkward.
Moving On
by: Red Wren

A friend came to my place when I was moving in, and she looked at my boxes of books and said, "That's clutter." I didn't know there was anyone who regarded a box of books (on moving day!) as clutter. My other friends would have envied my having books. They would have sat down and read some. She didn't even sit.

Yes, I have lots of things around. Maybe too much, but I'm happy with my books, magazines, collectibles, and so on. I do try to rotate them to another home when I feel I don't need to keep them forever. We have a free table in our apartment building where you can put things to give away, and know they'll be appreciated.
My home is my castle
by: Anonymous

Personally speaking, I have had times when my home is spotless and in perfect order and then also when it has been a disaster area. Sometimes, due to illness, I might not be as neat as I would like to be. Dishes don't get done, the bathroom is a mess, beds don't get made, and so on. That happens to everybody occasionally.

But I believe that when a person takes pride in their home they show it by being organized and clean. It doesn't matter how little you have or how much you have, how big your home is or how small it is - cleanliness and organization says a lot about a persons personality and standards.

Quite truthfully, I have less respect for people who are too lazy to clean up their surroundings. When I visit someone whose home isn't clean you can bet I'm not going to eat or drink anything there. If the home is not clean then I'm pretty sure the dishes, glasses, food and fridge are not up to hygienic standards, either.

When I invite these same people to a meal and they offer to bring "a dish to pass", I mention that I could use some more chips, an uncut watermelon, a bottle of wine, or some other packaged item that I know is not going to give anyone food poisoning or make me have to come up with an excuse about why I haven't eaten any of it.

Chronic disorganization is a nice way of saying 'slob' or 'sloppy'. It shows a lack of personal respect and respect for others. Taken to an extreme it can even be mental illness, as hoarders have severe mental and emotional issues.

Yes, my home is my castle. And I choose to keep it "fit for a queen".
Accept us as we are
by: Kay

A true friend will come to visit you, and not be concerned with whether you have done your housework.

I imagine from what you say, it's not so much that she offered help, but the way she offered it, with the attitude that you were not being tidy enough for her liking.

I agree with you when you say our home is an extension of ourselves.

Thank you for sharing with us Elizabeth.

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