My Inlaws
by ZB
(UK)
Hi,
I am married and live in UK, due to some problems and petty issues in the early years of my marriage, my in-laws do not have very good relationship with me and my family. They are mean to me and very much not concerned about anything related to me. But from time to time my brother in-laws have been staying with us since i got married from the past 7 yrs. They failed in studies didnt work and were totally annoying.
Now there is one that is left and he wants only his nationality and for that he is even staying in my new flat, sleeps in living room and is with us 24/7. I have worked very hard for this home it was my dream to have my one bed flat (i do not have children yet).
My mother in law and father in law, are always and (only) worried about my brother in-law.....get a big car cause he can not sit in my small car....get him a mattress he might catch cold..as he sleeps on the carpet...i got him things at different times... but it's too much now i want him to realise that is what you get for free....i have a nice carpeting in the flat....and he definitely tells them to say these things....i don't want him to stay in my living room....hes studying and now working part time......
If i say anything to him my husband will get angry....no other brother in law or his wife....keep him in their house for longer than a month, he is so comfortable with us and was here before i came and so thinks it is his right to stay where my husband lives....and so he has no plans of leaving us anytime soon....i don't like him around the house....my husband has done so much for him and he will keep doing, but why should i suffer? When they do not care about me...when they are so mean and negligent of me and make fun of my family....I am very depressed, i love my husband very much and i don't want to see him upset, if i am mean to my brother in law, i fear Allah will punish me for being mean....i fear Allah more....that now i have my own flat at the age of 26....does not mean i become mean to people less able though they are mean and selfish to me...like my brother in-law and his age is 27!....please guide...should i suffer this for the rest of my life...i will go mad...if i talk to him he's gonna cry and say bad things to his parents family...and they are always ready to quit any kind of relationship or connection with me.....i just fear confrontation cause i know it will get very difficult ....I fear Allah as im no good person or a good follower....if i do bad to others or kick him out of here....it might happen to me one day? I have given a lot of hints but he is so firm in his place as he knows his parents are at his back..But i heard they will send grandchildren to UK for studies too in future...and im 100% sure they will stay with us as it is free of cost, full of leisure and comfort....while we work hard, people take advantage of it....but i have not said anything to him yet....but i am very upset and i do not like him in the house any more please help me....what should i do?