My low self esteem is causing me problems at work

by Suzanne
(San Francisco, CA, USA)

I find that I get blamed for things I did not do wrong and I almost never get credit for things that I do right. I expect that if I work hard and do a good job people will treat me nicely. But it doesn't seem to work that way.

I see people who are lazy or less skilled getting further ahead at my job because they have the skill of being able to brag about themselves. A woman who is less educated and less talented than I am has been made a supervisor and is making everyone in the office miserable. She brags and has a huge ego. But I have been partially laid off and my position made part-time because I do not know how to toot my own horn.

How can I get self esteem and learn to toot my own horn without becoming a bore and a braggart? In my family we were taught to be humble and told "Who do you think you are?" whenever we asked to buy or do anything but the bare minimum in life. This has greatly impacted my ability to function in our American culture, where bragging and boasting seem to be highly rewarded.

Help!

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low self esteem
by: Anonymous

This is a common situation which quite a few people have to contend with and it crops up often brought about by people who are manipulators to cover up their own deficiencies. They are the back stabbers and trouble makers often forming themselves into small groups keeping other people outside. They have been the ones who may have been school bullies getting away with their behaviour as no one put an end to it.

It is not as anything is wrong with your work, and you may have to learn some skills to deal with them such as assertiveness training and how to confront and deal with them.

When you are being put down, bosses do not often see what is going on, and they do not know what you are capable of if given a chance. There will be people whom you feel comfortable and can work with.

Just take it on board, one day someone will see through these people and they will get what they deserve.

Low self esteem
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. When we have ow self esteem it often seems that people are much better than us. Of course this isn't so, because no one is better than you are. The problem is you believe they are.

Be yourself, don't try to be like other people. Work on the inner you, not by wishing you could be like others, but by changing how you see yourself.

Let your thoughts become positive ones about the type of person you are. Tell yourself often how worthwhile you are, how amazing. Let yourself know the incredible power you have inside that is making you strong. Base all your self talk on your strength and determination and the fact that you never give up.

As you continue with strong positive self talk you will feel the energy within you and you will become confident because the more you talk to yourself in this way the stronger you will become.
It is those thoughts that will change you to become how you long to be, how you are meant to be. Not how others are, but how you are.

Good luck.

Love
Kay
x

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