My older brother hates me? Why?

(Kannapolis n.c)

Ever since I was about 6 my brother hated me.(note I'm almost 12).

I can't remember the last time I shared a good day with him.
All my life I've been slightly over weight.But since last year I've wanted to kill my self or run away because he's called me gay,fat,fag,and he says no one loves me, frankly I think it's true.He always gets his way and he just shuns me out of our entire family. I've always wanted
to be like him skinny, gets a girlfriend, goes places with friends but now I wanna rip his head off and poop in it