no energy and no motivation

by lost girl

I'm really having a hard time finding happiness in this world. A year ago I tried to commit suicide because my life has been one wild roller coaster that I get so tired of riding... I don't know what to do with this body I live in and I don't have any interests that i'm good at..


I was born a boy and at the age of 20 I started becoming a woman, after 6 yrs of hormones, prostitution, surgery, and $50,000 medical/credit debt... I finally completed the process... the problem now is that I have absolutely no idea what to do with the rest of my life.

For the past 2 yrs I've been stripping and still going through some other surgeries as a result of the transition, and I find that stripping is not much better than the "escorting" I used to do. I'm also bored, I didn't have any interest or energy to go to college and it seems like everything I attempt to get involved in just isn't the right fit for me.

Life is passing by and I'm 28 now and after being on zoloft amongst other things I've decided to ditch the pills and try to be happy naturally....I'm so lost but pretend to be at least content for my mom because she worries so much and my happiness affects her... please help :(

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Unhappiness
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I wonder what hopes and dreams you had that you thought would happen once you became a woman? Were there things you wanted to do in your life, and if so, what has stopped you from going ahead with them.

You focus on what you can't do, the fact that you are bored, and that nothing seems to be the right thing to do.

What do you want from life? You are a beautiful young woman, and yet your eyes are sad. You have the world at your feet, and yet you can't find anything that interests you.

I ask you again, what do you want from life?

You have free will, the freedom to choose to do whatever it is that you want to. Don't you feel this is amazing? To do whatever it is that you want to? You can make it happen, but you have to have faith in yourself, and the strength to carry your plan through to fruition. It may involve lots of planning, or study, it may involve hard work, but if it's something that you truly want to do this should give you the incentive to keep going until you have succeeded.

Sit quietly and really think hard about what it is that you want, know that you are special, that you are unique and worthwhile. Above all realise that you are responsible for yourself. You have the power to choose boredom or decide to do something that fills you with happiness. No one can make these choices for you because only you know what the inner you yearns for.

You are right, us mothers worry about our children, and I would say that practically all mothers just want our children to be happy.

I say grab your dream and make it your reality!

Love,
Kay

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