Older sister hates me.

My sister and I are six years apart she is older and we have same Mother but different Fathers. I've always been a rebellious person did things I shouldn't but that's who I am.


Anyways my sister tells my 20 year old daughter things I've done in the past, tells her I'm a thief and a drug addict etc. Tells my parents a bunch of stuff that isn't true. In general she really hates me, says to me that I make her sick, that she cant stand the site of me, and we never talk and when we do its f_____ you etc.

I love my sister idolized her and she hates me. A dear friend of mine who didn't know my sister saw her and I together one day and said to me later, be careful she'll see to it that you're either in jail for a long time or see you dead.

She doesn't invite me to her new home or any family things which is sad because our parents are old. My Dad is 82 and our Mother I believe is 77. There's so much more to say but I will stop for now.

Thank you
sad and confused

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I never knew that she wanted me to be unhappy
by: Anonymous

I grew up in an alcoholic family. My father was the alcoholic and he targeted me with aggression from my earliest childhood memories into adulthood. My mother and sister stayed clear while he raged against me specifically. When the coast was clear, one of them might console me. I always looked to my sister as a best friend, but looking back I can see instances where she put me in harm’s way.
My sister pushed herself to achieve in life. I struggled, but always rooted her on.

As close as I thought we were, she did always present with one strange behavior towards me. She never liked anyone I dated and went out of her way to make them feel uncomfortable. I never confronted her on this matter.
Many of my relationships failed and it wasn’t until later in life that I connected with the right person. True to form, my sister decided she hated him, but she went one step further this time. She disliked him so much that he was not welcome to any family events that she would host or attend. I challenged her and pressed her to explain her behavior. She couldn’t explain it and reacted with cruelty.
I started seeing less of my sister at this time. My new relationship was semi long distance and we only saw each other on weekends. This made spending any time with my sister (also semi long distance) very difficult. I would call her, but she would never call me and the phone calls never went very well. I was constantly pressing her to explain her actions.

My parents were aware of the stance my sister had taken against my boyfriend and I know they felt her actions were wrong. They loved my boyfriend. At some point my sister expressed to my parents her anger at me for not making an effort to see her. I believe they defended me and challenged her to be accepting. I think they must have pressured her to come to their house at a time when my boyfriend and I would both be there. This probably made things worse.
My parents presented me with the situation of their design and while I didn’t like the plan I just hoped it would go well. It did not. She was cold to my boyfriend the moment she arrived. She refused to make eye contact and outright ignored him. When he retreated to the home office, my parents urged me to explain my feelings to her.
I gave it my absolute best shot and told her how much I loved her and wished she could accept this new person in my life. My words didn’t move her. She ripped into me. She accused me of trying to hijack the family and turn them against her. She accused me of trying to usurp her position in the family as the favorite. Everything that was happening was just a sick role reversal where she was now the one in the family who was being labeled as bad and mistreated.
Did I mention that I alone had been mistreated by my father throughout my childhood? Her words hit me like a bullet. I knew that I had been treated badly growing up. I knew she knew it. I never knew that while I was experiencing so much pain that she was enjoying a position of favoritism. I just never saw things that way. I was never jealous of her. How could she accuse me of trying to steal her position? Shocked, I don’t think I really responded to this, but she left in a rage at this point.
I did not continue to reach out to my sister after this encounter. I started to see everything about our relationship differently. For the first time I could understand why she never wanted me to have a boyfriend. She never wanted me to be in a state of happiness. My unhappiness in life was part of what defined her. How can someone love you if they need you to be unhappy? Years have gone by since this horrible event. She made one halfhearted attempt to reconnect with me, but then cancelled her plans. I am now married to the man she hated. She has since turned my parents into thinking that I am at fault for the rift between us. She has her family position and I have mine.
So does she hate me? Maybe. Not wanting someone to be happy is at least cruel. I am trying not to let people be cruel to me anymore.
What did I do?
by: Anonymous

So, this may sound like a typical sister thing but it hurts. My sister and I am were very close, 5 years apart. She is 20 now and I'm just 15, but before all things went bad at when I was 11 and she was 16. Before, we did everything you imagine together, she was basically my best friend, but I don't know if it is the teenage stage or something but at 16 she started to go silent on me. Maybe it was that one time I got in trouble for a bad grade, but we all did, or because I drank alcohol thinking it was juice blue cause it was red: all I know is that she didn't speak to me.She'd just wouldn't even stare, if she did she'd just call me an idiot or even dumbass.

Now, it's worse, she speaks to me harshly now. Like just now, I came back from a trip late,11am my mom said I could sleep in, so I did. I didn't wake up until 2.23pm, forgetting my piano lessons were at 2.30pm. My mom was mad at her for not waking me up and for not leaving for her lessons. She started yelling at me like, "It is not my fault, I refuse to be in fault for this. This is all your fault!" She basically left me sitting in the car. Where I am now. I was crying because I was apologizing constantly.
Similar thing happened to me a few years ago:(she was 19 and i was 14) she was supposed to pick me up for school, and she didn't come til 2 hours later. She was cussing at me for not reminding her. Yet I did with many missed calls and text. Then she blamed me for screwing up my phone. I don't know what I did. We were such good friends and now we're aren't for some reason.

I thought it was the teenager stage, but I guess not because I didn't shut out my family at all. I don't know, its kinda hard to enjoy going back home when I see her car in the driveway nowadays. I honestly do not know what I did wrong. It always breaks my heart seeing other families have so much fun with their siblings. It hurts...
my older sister never wanted to have a little sister!
by: Anonymous

She is about 5 years older than me, and she was jealous of my baptism, and stole my cake, and party, then, she also did not let me have anything, to play with, she never helped me with anything, not my school work, or anything, she got me in trouble, and made me do bad things, and keep secrets from our parents, and then, she tried to control me, and not let me have any fun!
She did not help me look pretty for my prom, and never invited me to her house, as a guest, or want to seeme tlook pretty skinny, or happy. She likes it, when, Im depressed, ugly, and fat! and crying all the time. So, I decided i'd not to talk to her anymore or let her see me, when, Im happy, or having fun, or look pretty, and skinny!
I don't love her either, and don't care about her anymore! I used to love her a lot, but she used me and took advantage of me, for free babysitting, and housesitting, and stuff like that, then, she stole all my boyfriends, and even my husband, and tried to take away my son, and act like she was his mother, so, I got mad, and did not let her know about anything I did anymore, so, she could not do it anymore.

Then, she really got me mad when she tried to make men, rape me, and have sex games, she likes that they abuse me and also harass me in the office!
Well, anyway, she is a terrible sister! She also laughs like a hyena! and has yellow teeth, and also a lot of freckles!
lol
To "Call the police on my Sister"
by: Anonymous

The 15 year old who is being abused by her older sister and not protected by her mother/parents. Calling the police will not do much. They may take a report but there will be little or no follow-up. You may want to file a complaint of abuse in your household (by your older sister) with the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS).

When the DCFS receives a formal complaint they have to investigate. They will come to your home and interview all members of the family and make a report. This will get your mean sisters attention and your parents too. Something will have to change. You may first want to go to the school counselor and discuss family counseling or ask them how to go about filing a report with DCFS.

If it is really as bad as you say it is and you fear for your life, DCFS can have your sister removed or you removed from the environment/home for your protection. Or you can stay there and whiny about being abused. I personally was tired of being beaten by my parents and ran away from home at 15 and lived at my boyfriends home because DCFS back in the 70's was a joke and there was very little protection for children. I moved to a different school and continued under a different name. Graduated from High School and was working and got married. Then went to college, worked and was married and very happy and no more beatings. Yah!!! Parents were allowed to beat the shit out of kids back then. So the only way out was to leave. So you decide what you are going to do. Stay and take it and be afraid or report it and get some real help.
To "I feel you guys"
by: Middle sister

To "I feel you guys".

1. You can choose your friends but not your family.
With that being said, you need to do some soul searching and maybe go to a psychologist to talk some of your issues out. You do not have to be a victim. Look up "Victim mentality".

2. To your older sister you were probably looked on as an burden since it sounds like your mother gave your older sister some heavy responsibility to help raise you. That is/was your mom's responsibility.

3. When you live in a household you have to be respectful of others. Singing loudly to build up your pride can be very ignoring to others. I would have told you to "shut up" to. Go outside and sing if you want to but not where others are say working or studying.

4. Being jealous of your middle sister is not her problem but yours. Every child is different and you need to find what you are good at and not be jealous of what your middle sister can do or how many boyfriends she has.

5. As for sharing a room with your mom and her listening to something on her iphone loudly. As a child you should not "tell" her to turn it down you should "ask her nicely" to turn it down. If you were my child and you kept repeating it over and over again for me to turn what I was watching down I would have slapped you too and then told you to go downstairs and sleep on the couch.

If you are living under your parents roof and they are supporting you then you need to do as you are told or move out.

6. It sounds to me like you have a lot of growing up to do. Work on yourself, get some counseling and find what you do best. Do not worry about your two older sisters and do not be jealous of what they have or who they are. You need to find your own way in life.
My Sister Cut Ties with Me
by: Julie

I can sympathize totally with you. My sister is some 4 years older than me. As a little girl I know I did things to her out of jealousy. I always thought my mother loved my sister more. I always saw my mother paying more attention to my sister.

My mother died at 41, and I was about 15 years old. I don't remember too much of my mom. My sister and I were starting to get close when my father remarried, we both at the time did not approve of my father's wife, being she was sleeping with my dad when my mother was in her death bed, from what I can remember.

My father and I were very close, I just did not approve of my father remarrying some person 1 year after the death of my mom. Anyway, my father since past away at 90 years old, God rest his soul. My father died in probate as there was no will signed. My sister and I had many disagreements while the probate was going on. My step mother said that she would not take any money from us being her so called (daughters), but in fact she took $50,000 from my sister and I. I was livid because she broke her promise to my father. My sister and I just did not see eye to eye after that. After the settlement was done of the home, etc. some one year later, my sister received her half, I received my half, and my dad's wife well she received money as well.

I tried going over to my sister's home to put this all behind us as I know we were both hurting from the words we exchanged. She told me to get the f***k out of her home and get out of her life or she'll call the cops. I've since been trying to connect with her, but she just won't have anything to do with me. I know what you're going through. I figure I'll just keep trying and hopeful the good Lord will bring peace between us.

Good Luck PS I truly love my sister and hope that soon we will reconnect.
I feel you guys
by: Anonymous

I'm the youngest of my sisters and I have alsways got into fights with my oldest sister, both my sister came to live with my family when I was 4 they were 13. We had different fathers.

When I was young everything was ok I was still learning how to become smart and obedient. Our family was ok. My sisters thought I was cute and all but then as a child of course everyone got into some sort of trouble well, that was me and my mom always blamed it on my oldest sister especially middle sister too but mainly my oldest.

Fights would happen a lot as I tried to obey but it was very hard for me, especially when I got into trouble mainly for attention. Then as I grew up, my oldest sister gave up on trying to care for me, we barely talked, she always talked to my middle sister, well of course because they grew up together. I have to admit I was jealous because I was always left alone. For example, my family would go to New york and have dinner, in the car my sisters would ignore me and pretend I wasn't there. So as I got older I used the computer a lot to keep me company. Then I got my own phone and laptop both my sister hated that. They said I don't deserve one I'm the youngest I get nothing. Ok fine who cares what they thought.

Then the more fights the more my middle sister took over and my older sister would abuse me if she was annoyed by me or I was too loud she would strangle me, hit me with hangers and it caused them to snap, she sometimes would dig her nails into my skin it bled. To prevent the abuse my middle sister tried to stop her and now whenever I did not listen to my middle sister from following her order she would break my pride and give me punishment. One crude example is when I was singing out loud, very loudly, she said to shut up, why should I? And the more I kept trying to keep my pride she would break out, she is a very hot tempered character. Not to mention I actually am jealous of her, she always talked about her day at school or how all the children she babysits lover her actually she earns 200$ a day for babysitting. Or how all her friends love her and boys hit on her and she doesn't know what to do , she gets A+ while I struggle with math and English and my other subjects are B average.

I don't have any true friends who actualy care for me and I struggle in my music studies obedience puberty and how my older sister resents me, actually right now my older sister recently hit me and said she hated me with all her life and she would always talk about me with her middle sister about how much she hated me and my mom.

My mom is very stubborn she cannot listen to anyone else's opinion if she thinks others are wrong, she always ends a fight with I'm the master of this house everyone obeys me, I get into meaningless fights with her like yesterday she was watching something on her phone and would not lower the volume we shares rooms and sleep in different beds I politely told her to lower it because it was bothering my sleep. She wouldn't listen so i kwpt repeating it then she got so angry she slapped me so I ended up going downstairs to sleep on the couch. My older sister hates me because she always thought that I am the baby and I am pampered and loved and she is not so she hates my mom too.

My older sister now ignores my presence and whenver we even have contact with each other she replies in a hateful cruel tone while being all nicey nicey with my middle sister. Yes I am jealous of my middle sister she's becoming a doctor has the smarts has friends and boys hit on her all the time I even witnessed one time myself and the boy did not even know her. But the difference between my jealousy towards my middle sister and the jealousy of my older sister towards me is that my older sister puts all her anger and blames as the reason for her suffering as i am jealous of my middles sister but i still love her and she treats me kind like cooking for me her and there (I usually cook for myself though ) while I still love my older sister but we grew distant ever since she started having fights with my mom. So now I am ignored by both ..
Ugly Truth
by: Anonymous

My mother for some strange reason told me a few times whilst growing up that my sister hated me, that she was jealous of me. I could never understand why.... She is 12 years my senior, learnt to drive before me, moved out before me, started working and earning her own salary, got married to an awesome man, has travelled the world, seen places I have only dreamt of. Immigrated, raised 2 gorgeous kids. She has had so many stunning opportunities in life that I never have had, yet my mothers beliefs have unveiled. Shortly after our fathers death, we have now officially stopped communicating. Told me she felt nothing and had no issues with it. I suspected my moms feelings over the years, and now after the truth has been revealed, it hurts like crazy, she feels like an enemy, so cold and distant... so very sad....
Ditto
by: Anonymous

My sister is 9 years older than me and now lives a stressful life in her apartment. I know I always was a nuisance back then, but I try to be nicer now that I'm 16. However, she always has this face that tells me she is irritated by me, and she seems to refuse my affection.

I know being an adult with bipolar disorder is stressful, but it really hurts me to see that she rather vents on me or just flat-out ignore me. I think you should have a talk with your sister or have some sort of family counseling. I think of doing it.
Hatred
by: Anonymous

I'm 9, about to turn 10, and my sister is 12, about to turn 13. I was excited to have a teenager as a sister, until she started hating me. The only thing she cares about is reading. She won't talk to me or even listen to what I say.
Called the police on my on sister
by: Anonymous

I feel suicide is the only way out living with my crazy sister. I am 15 and she is 17. The worst part is I'm a freshmen and she's a senior. She is always making up lies and getting me in trouble, punished, and loss of privileges. My mom sides with her all the time. Even sometimes just watches me get the sh*t beaten out of me. I am 5'5 and weight 118 she is 5'1 and weights 150 She's over weight and over powers me. I don't fight back because I don't want to hurt her.. in not that person. She has hidden in my closet and attacked me,choking me as I screamed. I see the hatred in her eyes. It scares me so much I can't even walk by her without thinking she will just stab me and that will be the end. She has completely ruined my freshman year.

She has told me when she was on this calming medicine that she is jealous of me because everyone likes me and seniors are after me and talk about how I could be a "model" I think she's drop dead gorgeous and I have told her many time she just wants me to die she has tried to kill me 10 times. Now is forcing my mom to devorce my dad. She terrorizes all 4 of us kids. My mom lets her do everything and believes everything she says. I can't even understand why she hates me and attacks me physically and mentally. I thought I was the only one that this happened to since I was 9 but I am glad that I'm not...... I NEED HELP WHAT SHOULD I DO
Sister Hates Me
by: Anonymous

It's been the same for me. Every single time I try to get along with her she always puts me down and keeps on trying to get me in trouble; and I'm sick of it. I try to ignore her but it isn't enough. She needs to realize that I'm her only sister so she needs to get her head out of her butt and take a hint. Just because she's older than me doesn't mean shes the best at everything. What can I do? Oh, wait, I have to hear insults thrown at me back and forth and get my foot stepped on for no reason. 😡 😠 😤 😳 I love her as a sister, but she HATES ME. 😢😭
My sister
by: Anonymous

I'm the middle child in my family. My older sister always would hurt me either mentally or physically. She would tell me, a 12 year old, that I was nothing, a mistake, and a nuisance to our parents. As she being 16, only 4 years apart, She had a social life and crisises. Of course I'd try my best to help her out. But all she did was use me as her stress relief. She didn't ever considered the thought that I'm trying to be nice.

She is my older sister I admire her, she is my role model. Everytime I was hurt all she did was laugh at me and tell at me to stop crying. If I didn't she would hit me with a remote. She told me straight to my face that she will one day throw a rock at my head causing me to go into a coma that was life threatening and pull the plug. When I felt endangered I told my mom, my mother didn't do anything because my older sister said that I was lying and that I have problems. This hurts me to the core, I don't know what I ever did to her. I've always done my best to make her as happy as ever. I finally realised that she was using me to her advantage. At Christmas I made her a portfolio of the times we spent together. I saw her rip up my photos and throw it in the trash. I was hurt, all the hard work I put into that portfolio was gone, the moments, the times we spent, was ripped to pieces. And so was my heart. Now we don't talk all she does is criticize me and spreads rumors about me throughout our family.
me too
by: Anonymous

omg that is my situation made over
A Jealous self-righteous sister
by: Anonymous

I am 70 and my sister is 71 years old. We were close all of our lives like twins. About two or three years ago she stopped calling me (I lived out of state). Then she began to accuse me of "stealing" her family photos. As god is my witness I have not stolen anything from her. She has misplaced these pictures and now accuses me of going into her apartment and taking them. They are old pictures of family members that I have absolutely no interest in. She has called me cold blooded, "evil, liar, needy, wants to be the center of attention, the worst person she knows, thief, etc. and she has screamed these things at me. She even had a lawyer send me a letter accusing me of "stealing" a hundred photos from her apartment.

When I moved back to the city where we both live after living in Florida for ten years she began a campaign to discredit me among my friends. I thought we could mend fences even though I hadn't done any of the things she accused me of and things got a little better in that we spoke when we saw each other. Oh yes, she could scream at me one day but when she saw me out in public the next time she acted like nothing ever happened. Yesterday was the very last time I will take her abuse so I decided I no longer intend to have any contact with her. My family says she is jealous of me (we are both college educated but I am very well known in my field and worked very, very hard to get there). At first I didn't agree but now it just might be why she treats me so badly. Life is too short to allow my sister to scream at and attack me.
Both my sisters hate me
by: Anonymous

I'm the youngest. We are all three years apart. The sister in the middle was the one who was the meanest to me and still is to this day. I still have text messages from her on my phone with the meanest and most hateful messages imaginable.

I thought I trusted my oldest sister. I looked to her as the stable one. The one I could count on. Her true colors came out after our father died.

Both sisters have nice homes and are financially stable. I struggle from paycheck to paycheck. They don't want me to inherit anything after our mother passes. They'd like nothing more than to see me live on the street.

Sometimes I wonder why I was put in this family.
I've been there
by: Anonymous

I know. My sister and I (we are 2 years apart) were really close growing up. I grew up idolizing her because se was the oldest. I loved her with all my heart and saw her as pure good.

We grew up and grew apart. She alienated me, beat me up, teased me, and said straight to my face that she wishes I were dead. I know how you feel. Everytime we see each other it is either f you or some other type of slander toward each other. It does get better eventually, I promise.
She'll never love me
by: fashiondoodle#watz up

I know how u feel my sister is the same way I am 12 she 14 two years apart people always say we will grow up and end up liking each other but I wish I just know she'll hate me when I get older the worst part is we share the same room. I understand she needs her privacy but I just want her to know that I'm part of her life to and even though she still will probably hate my guts when I'm 30 and she 32 doesn't mean that I still won't love her.
I wish she could see that I show to half the time but all she can ever say Is I don't care or any type of comment involving me being idiotic I just wish we won't be fighting when were older. My parents need to see who she really is they know what she is capable of but I've told some stuff about her to that was true. I'm just that nice of a sister not to spill everything I could possibly know about her.

When she wants something I have I'm that nice enough to give it to her but if things don't change so or at least when we're older all spill everything she might deny it bit I'll have proof I'll start recording and eves dropping like I always do and taking pictures but she needs to realizes that I will do it I'll feel bad when I'm older if things do change trust me sis I will love you forever and always your like my best friend you'll always get me whenever I'm in trouble I'll talk to you in all your fashion glory
My mean older sister
by: Anonymous

My older sister has hated me since I was four or five. She used to be really nice and caring to me but now she hates my guts and wants me dead. I'm now eleven and she's fourteen. As she gets older she gets crueler if that's even possible. She has tried to murder me multiple times, once by almost drowning me, stabbing me, suffocating me, etc. My parents are sometimes helpful or at least trying to be, but half of the time they are either telling me to grow up and stop be a baby or they're siding with her. I really don't know how to cope anymore, I mean, my parents are separating now so I am left alone with her more often. The last time she and I were alone she was trying to physically and mentally harm me. A few of the times my mom and dad have left us at home, she has given me and option, either die or run away. Each time I have chosen the second option. I was forced repeatedly pack my stuff and go to a little hiding area right next to the highway, waiting for my mom to get back. My sister doesn't care if my mom witnesses her actions and if my mom tries to protect me she harms her too. We have nearly had to call the police because of her, though we haven't yet. My sister is always calling me names and telling me everyone wants me dead. She cusses at me and I'm starting to shake with fear when she just walks near me in a bad mood. I don't think I can cope anymore, I do feel better knowing I'm not alone in this whole situation, though. I hope she starts being nicer more often. My very oldest sister isn't always nice but at least she's nicer that the OTHER one. I sometimes wish suicide was an easier path to try. :(
Hated by my older sister all my life.
by: susie

This woman is 10 years older than me. When I was 14 I baby sit for her in Ca. When she quit working ,without telling me anything she and her than boyfriend put me on a bus one way to AZ with only 17 dollars and sent me away. She did not even tell my parents that I was coming home. When I got there I had no home and my mother had left my dad ,and he was living with his sister. I became homeless and had not place to go. Still, to this day she hates me and my other full sister and I are no longer close as children. I always try to be friendly and finally quit being nice and no longer contact her. I wish to just forget her in my life.
I learned to stay away
by: Anonymous

I posted previously about my sister hating me. I'm 62 years old and finally learned that any attempts at trying to make my sister like me were futile. It took repeated tries all these years. One day about 6 months ago when I was in the hospital for a serious illness I called my sister to tell her (she lives 1000 miles away). I started to cry because I was scared about, my prognosis and told my sister I was lonely. She yelled into the phone "It's your own fault, there isn't anything I can do to help you."

At that moment something snapped in my brain... I defriended her from Facebook, I wrote an Email saying that the next communication she would hear from me was when she was told that I was dead. I washed her out of my life.

For those 6 months I experienced a lightness and confident knowing that I had cut out something damaging from my life. I seemed to stand up taller and feel more confident. My best friend of 45 years even said she never heard me sound so good (not negative and complaining).

I was having problems with my home: leaky roof and other major mishaps and my sister wrote to me asking if she give me some money to fix things. I was shocked. She even ended her emails with "I love you." I didn't take the money and I am having a very select relationship with her now.

It's funny, once I realized her presence in my life was harming me and I chose to remove her, it is she that wants to be in my life.

I am on guard. I offer no apologies for anything and I know that if she starts her emotional abuse with me I know what to do immediately.

I think what is key is that no one who treats us with disrespect belongs in our lives. We have the power to get rid of these damaging influences and we should do so. I wish I washed my hands of her 40 years ago and spared myself her damning accusatations and self doubt that there was something wrong with me.

Get these abusive family members out of your life.
ive tried but dont know what else to do
by: Anonymous

I am a 26 year old male and my sister and I are 8 years apart. We've never been on the same page with anything. She I always thought I was the spoiled one and I always thought she was a bully.

We have different fathers. I remember when we were kids she used to come in my room and check under the covers to see if I was masturbating but I was too young to even know how to masturbate or what it was for that matter. She constantly tormented me as a kid. She used to call me really hurtful names such as "nasty bastard". She would hit me in the face with broomsticks. Everytime I would tell my mom about it she would often side with her and told me to stop acting up. I never got the benefit of the doubt because I was the youngest and they thought because I was the youngest I was in the wrong. I'm not saying I'm perfect because I've made some mistakes too but I feel like my sister never cared about me or loves me. I try my best to get along with her but we always end up fighting. She never praises me for the good that I have done and what I've accomplished but she crushes me for every little mistake I do make.

I am grown now. I have finished college and I am making a career for myself in the air force. I was the only male in the house because my dad is divorced with my mom and moved out and my grandpa who own the house has passed away (God rest his soul) and I was the only man left but I felt as if no one respected me as a man and none of my suggestions, opinions, or advice in regards to household or family issues is never taken into consideration. I had to move out because I don't like feeling like a stranger in my own house.

I'm frustrated that I was even born into this family to begim with. I mean don't get me wrong I love my family but sometimes the people closest to you can hurt you the most. I think we would all get along much better if I was away. I get along better when I am away than I am with them for long periods of time. I don't know what else to do, I feel like I'm on an isle all by myself and no one seems to understand my pain.
she didnt go to my Graduation,
by: Anonymous

I will tell you what to do...
let me give you a some highlights what have happened to me.. well my older sister and brother always been jealous of me because i always was my parents favorite not because i been evil but because i was an obedient child anyways i had enough pressure to become lets say the most rebel child to create a balance and then they both were much happier let say it this way.. anyways i fixed my life by attending university return to my parents house and graduated yepper graduate the first from the family to go to university so you already know what the outcomes is about then later on..
my dad got sick i took care of him he died nope my sister didnt attend him nor my brother then my mom got sick i took care of her for four years couldnt do anything due to trying to help my mom recovered and now im trying to fix the house that is in bad condition and im the one who needs to help the handy man get all the materials of the house and also helps in other things..
anyways.. the whole deal is that i had a lazy
nephew who was living in my parents home not only lazy but also rude and obnoxious and also would have friends coming about in the house and just making my mom's life miserable..
anyways finally my mom got the strength to kick him out of the house and tell him to leave he wanted to beat my mother and beat me as well, total trash.. anyways..the whole point is people may be jealous of you,,
im surrounded by haters , sister and brother and cousin etc.. but just leave it to the world to balance it out let them hate it will catch up to them eventually like karma..
so let it be,
my sister came to the house and told me she was going to the graduation and you know what she did she didn't and told her evil son to come to it because she knew that would hurt me the most but that ok because finally her karma will catch up to her for being such a evil person,,,
so to each their own karma..
My Sister hates me for no reason
by: Anonymous

I have tried all I can to please my sister and be her friend all she does is verbally abuse me. We are 7 years apart with the same mother and father. Her husband raped me and she never even acknowledged it...I'm ready to walk away. I have friends and a spouse who love me dearly. She is all alone and only has her daughter
So Much Pain
by: Anonymous

Perhaps its helpful to know that none of us are alone.

My brother and sister worked as a team: My sister was verbally abusive and my brother beat me. If my sister didn't think I suffered enough, she would enlist my brother to hurt me to drive her point home.
Not long ago, when our elderly mother was in the hospital for emergency open heart surgery, my sister didn't even bother coming to the ICU but she called my brother and when he arrived he suddenly attacked me and violently slammed me across the room, into a hospital tray right in front of our mother. To this day, I have no idea what my sister said to him, but it doesn't really matter - they are still acting on the 'buddy' dynamic they enjoyed as spoiled, cruel children.

Sibling abuse can go on for an entire lifetime, but it need not be the case.

No one can live in two places at once: I will never forget the past but I can't live there either.

I've moved on with my life, am happily married and have nearly paid off my home. My older siblings have not and continue to dish out abuse directed at me even though we are all in our 50's now.

Just because you share DNA with someone it does not make them a brother or sister: those words infer a familial closeness, caring and consideration.

If your siblings are still terrorizing your life, they are toxic and its time to walk away. Let them go. Don't call them and don't write. Create stronger relationships with friends who have been there for you and truly care about you.

Growing up with abusers when you couldn't do anything about it doesn't mean that you have to continue being a target as an adult. And, you don't have to accept abusive relationships because that is what you got used to through years of abuse.

It might seem scary at first, but once you break away from sick people who only criticize, find fault with everything you do and make you feel bad, life will improve for all of you.

I know, I've done it. In addition, participating in good counseling helps to keep things in perspective and builds self esteem.

You are all vital people who deserve love and care. Good luck, and wishing you the best in life!

I'm working at letting go
by: Anonymous

My sister is 13 months younger than I am. Since early childhood I protected and loved her, she is my only sibling. She has a lot of problems and I always was there for her.

For the last 8 years she turned to become inconsiderate and cruel, using me when she needs financial support and then she would hang up the phone,not talk to me turn her daughter against me with lies, I use to cry my eyes out and begged her for her love and it took me years of therapy to accept this reality. Now mother is in a nursing home sick and she has her intimidated not to accept anything from me.

I live in the United States and they in Argentina,I begged her to let me help with mom from here to no avail. I'm praying for strength to accept all these and not ruin my life. Right now other relatives are in contact with me to help me with mom's care, but no one can tell her they talk to me in fear of her rage.
Re: Older sister hates me
by: RU7

I just want you to know you really are not alone in this. I have been dealing with the same issue with my sister for over 16 years and it is really sad and heartbreaking especially now that both of our parents have passed on and we have a very small family left here on earth.

I have racked my brain trying to understand how when I love her so much she just never wants me around and seems to just hate me or not love me back. I have a lot of friends and am loving, I too feel your pain.
My best answer for you is to pray and forgive the unforgivable. If you want to we can email back and forth more about this.


sincerely,
Rubi
mean sister
by: Anonymous

I have a sister who is one year older than me. we grew up sharing a bedroom. my sister was constantly agitating me, beating me up, teasing me and calling me names.
Mom and dad both worked so there was not proper supervision coming home after school and that meant constant abuse from my sister, either verbal OR physical, whichever she felt like.

Eventually she became hooked on heroine which led to approximately 18 years of abuse for the whole family including her 4 children. Total neglect. She has been a very selfish self centered person ever since I can remember. The drugs were NOT the cause of her selfishness.
Meanwhile my parents have always made excuses for her and seemed to favor her. I am just telling you how I feel. They would never admit to this, even after all the BS she put them and all of us thru. Well, eventually she was arrested and jailed, and let out on a 'drug court program' and miraculously got sober for the first time in years! Yay! Well, otherwise she would end up back in jail. Hey, whatever works.
She then went on to get a masters degree in psychology with an emphasis on art as therapy. Okay, so I am so very proud of her achievements. She also MUST work the AA program, which is fine, but she thinks that everyone should have to be substance free because she has to. Because of it she is very judgmental and not to mention 'an expert' because she has a masters.
She still continues to this day to belittle me any chance she gets and the name calling... its ridiculous. We are 50 something and would think we could just get along. She is convinced that I am the one with the problem... but to this day she is one of the most selfish people I know. My parents worship the ground she walks on. When I try to talk to them about our inability to get along they always make excuses for her. I am so over it.
I have wonderful friends who I have had for years that take her place as sisters. They remember how cruel she has always been to me and assure me its her with the problem. Needless to say it still hurts to the core since she is my only sister. I see other sisters having loving and caring relationships and really admire that. anyways...just needed to get that out. a couple days ago she publicly posted on f
Facebook that I was 'angry, lonely, and pathetic' Its not true but lets just say it was... why would a sister post it on Facebook rather than pick up the phone and call and ask.. what can I do to help.. I am here to listen. that's what I do for friends who feel that way... is it too much to think my only sister might? She is an awful sister and I wish she could be nice... but it just isn't going to happen in this life. Aloha
sis
by: Anonymous

Hi- my sister is a year older. She locks her self in her room and hates all the kids in our family. She makes me cry a lot and calls me a baby. My parents are on her side and hates me. They care a lot more about her then me. She hits me and my dad calls calls it a playful joke. If I Poke her I get in trouble and it becomes a hard hit. :( I need help. My parents aren't listening. D: help
My older and younger sisters
by: Lolo

My older sister is sort of my friend but not all the way and I`ll tell you why.

My older sister locks herself in her room and she barely ever come out of there or off her bed. When I needed someone to watch me outside I went and asked her but she said no. Now I'm going to tell you about my younger sister and after this I will even be scared.

My younger sister is most horrible. She bothers me all the time and never stops like this one time when I was in my room sleeping and she barges in and yells in my ear " wake up" then I just stay in bed crying my eyes out because I didn't wake so she started punching me, but she definitely got in trouble. Well that's all about my younger and older sisters.
Stop trying to please your sister's!
by: Light

If your sister's hate you after you have tried time and time again, to make thing's right, or to show how much you love them, then do not be bothered with that sister, because you tried, and they did not want the love.

Don't allow your sisters to guilt you into believing you are the reason, they have nothing because you can't afford to buy them thing's and buy their cat's cat food, or buy them cig's to smoke.

Do not let your sister guilt you into believing that it is your fault she is sick, you were nice enough to to take her gifts at Christmas, and you were nice enough to take her shopping for what she need's, you also told her that you and your husband are tight with money, so you won't be able to take her shopping any longer, and she still tries to make you feel bad. It's not your fault or you full responsibility to always take her shopping on your dime, and to take care of her, it's her fault, she is a grown woman, if she is sick, then why is she still smoking? and if she is so broke then how does she still have money to pay for her internet? How does she survive when you aren't there to take her shopping?

I would not have much to do with that sister if i was you, it's obvious she does not care about you and you husbands situation, but only in what she can get out of you, do nothing else for this woman, she is playing you for a fool.

Do not allow your sister to beat on you, and don't do your sisters choirs, they are hers to do, if she does not do you the same favor's when you need it to be done, also homework comes first, if your mother does not believe you, then that's her own fault, one day she will see for herself.

If your younger sister said's she will never accept you as a family member, it doesn't make it true, you will always be apart of that family, you all have the same blood that bonds you. If your younger sister keep's bringing up your past, than ignore her, because one day someone will throw her past up in her face, she is not a child any longer, she is a grown woman now, stay away from her, you try to look out for her, and she does not want it.

If your sister is an evil vindictive person, and just plain doesn't like you, then cut her off, if your friend comes and tells you to stay away, because one day she will have you locked up in jail for a long time, that is telling you, she's a very very hateful person, and you really really need to stay away from her.

My point is to you women/girls, is to stop letting your sister take advantage of you at every turn, then make you to be the guilty one, do not feel bad when they lay the guilt trip on you, you have your own life to live, and if you spend all of you life worrying about why your sister hate's you, and if it is your fault(when it is not), then you will loss all of the years slip by where you could have lived a great life, and you will never get those years back.
My Terrible Sister
by: Anonymous

My older sister hates me. I'd been slaving over for her and she never thanks me for my deeds. Today I was nice to her as to clean everything she was supposed to. I then wanted one hour of peace. She blasted her music through the paper thin walls, and of course this got me agitated. Oh course, me being me, I ignored it because I thought it was ok. Later she wanted me to do more chores for her. I was kind so I did. But I'd been cleaning all day. I had barely anytime for homework. So I decided to do it. It was already around 10:30 when I was still doing my homework when my mum came home. She was at the hospital all day with my very sick grandma. She brought a bit of groceries. I thought my sister would be kind enough to put them away as it was late and I still had more homework. She chased me upstairs and started to beat me. Me being a rough child, I fought back, but only to where I was defending myself, not trying to hurt her. She then cried out so I stopped and let her go. She then pulled my hair back and whispered in my ear, "I hope you die. No one will miss you." and walked off. I cried too but my mum thought my older sis was innocent and that I'm some devil child. Now all hate me for just wanting a break for the day.
my sister hates me
by: Anonymous

I have an older sister who loves me when I am helping her, money taking her places....etc. This past Christmas I went to her house and got her and brought her to my house she doesn't have a lot of money and I do all I can for her she didn't want to be the only one here that didn't have gifts for everyone else so I went out and bought gifts for her to give.

After I took her home I explained to her that work slows down for my husband after the first of the year and I might not get to see her in Jan. Well now she is mad at me and constantly sends me emails telling me how she is hungry and needs cigarettes and cat food and needs me to come and take her to get this stuff for her. She live about 45 miles from me in another state and it cost me 20 to 30 dollars to go down there plus paying for items in the store.

I got an email from her today saying she was through with me and it was all my fault that she is like she is and she hoped that one day I would be like her and have no one to help her. She gets a disability check and food stamps and made it on her own until I started trying to help her but now things are really tight for us and I can't do the things I was doing and I have tried to explain it to her but she doesn't believe me and I feel guilty for not being able to help her this month.

Any advice who sure be appreciated. I feel so bad :(
sisters
by: Anonymous

Look I don't understand, I'm only 17 and I spent 11 years without my sister Then I found her on Facebook.
We met up things were going well and well I know shes pregnant but one day I rang her and she just said she doesn't want me in her life I was devastated. I cried for days, I still am.
I understand completely NEW
by: Anonymous

I understand completely. My older sister hates me also, and this has been going on since we were children. We have the same mother and different fathers, which all of them have passed on. She can be calm one minute and bitter and angry the next for no apparent reason and every time she becomes bitter it's always something negative towards me. I'm really tired of it, I always feel like I have to walk on eggs shells around her, when I asked what the problem is between us she blows her top and starts cussing and everything, always trying to twist it all around saying it's not her it's me.

Her children and mine get along perfectly, they hate being around their own mother because of her negative and bitter attitude. I personally believe she needs professional help, I have given up and decided to keep my distance. All I can do now is pray for her to know how important it is to have and be loved by your family.
my sister hates me it hurts NEW
by: Shenanigans

I have a younger sister who is 9 years younger than me. During my teenage years, I had got into trouble with my parents. But since my mother had passed away in 2003, I started to change for the better. I break down the walls, quit all the negative habits and tried to re-connect a repair my relationship with my sisters and father, and it worked. Well, except for one.
My younger sister started to hang out with the wrong crowd, hates us all, hates being at home and started stealing from everybody in the house, and sexually active on letting boys to sleep with her. Everyone is in unanimous denial when they found out, esp my father. Apart from stealing my late mother's belongings, fathers money and sisters' gold necklaces, we found her naked photo with her boyfriend in her phone. Knowing this my eldest sister and I confronted her and she didn't admit nor denied it and the denial goes on for few years, as well as her antics.
However, late last year (2011), the family found out again that she still sleeps around (she is now 21) and steals, but this time she stole from my aunt which costs her a $1,000 loss, and that my other sister told me how she'd spend $3000 shopping while in Australia. Seeing my father's disappointed and sad face, I then acted to send her a message that I just had enough. We had a big brawl and she managed to brutally scratch my face (like the Bride of Chucky - Child's Play).. during the fight she kept on telling my family that she hated me and wants nothing to do with me and will never accept me as a family member again..somehow, during my rage, that saddens me..she told everyone that she never respects me due to what I've done during my teenage years and hates me for it.
Now, I've cut her off my life because there's just nothing much that I could do to save her. I love her but the madness just needs to stop, especially now that my father has been diagnosed with cancer. I admit I'm much happier now with my husband but seeing how dysfunction my family is just saddens me to the core. I wish she could just put my past where it belong. After all, I have asked for daily forgiveness from my father and I always carry the teachings and memories of my late mother in my heart forever =,(
Pt 2 Please read.....
by: Anonymous

I had to post this in 2 parts......

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked... “As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”
- author unknown

In closing, thanks you all for your time listening to my TRUTHFUL experience and I hope this makes your life fulfilling with love and hope. This really did happen for me yesterday!!!! Just have faith and stay strong!!!
Regards to all and Blessings!

________________________________________________

This is lovely, thank you for sharing and thank you very much for sharing part one of this message.
I wish you love and peace.

Love
Kay
x
X
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!
by: Anonymous

Hello, i am the 57 year old who recently wrote about his sister and niece that have disdain for him. Something happened yesterday that i feel compelled to share with everyone. Please understand that I am not trying to shove religion down anyones throat but I went to the place where my Father is buried (he passed years ago) and it was a cloudy grey day. I cried and prayed for him and also shared my feelings with him. I noticed that a certain part of the sky cleared and the sun started to shine on me. I was taken back and i started to ask God for his help. I really prayed from my heart and felt this feeling like i was actually being listened to. I left soon after feeling deeply depressed but at the same time felt some strange comfort. I was a feeling like i never felt before.

Later that day things slowly and slightly began to change. My sister and my Niece were different. They were communicating with me, Please understand that this was not drastic but it was enough to make me realize and believe in my heart that my prayer was answered. I know that with all the strife, pain and misery in the world that one can feel that there is no justice, no God no nothing! Just all pain, suffering and then we die. Well i now think different. I don't know if my words can make my point but i really do believe that there is a higher power, a God out there that looks over us all. There must be !!! The human body and nature are just too complex and beautiful to just show up and wither away and die. Something made us!!! I don't want to push my point too much but in short I do believe that if one prays hard with sincere feeling and from your deepest part of your heart that you will find peace, comfort and an answer to you prayer. Life takes a strange path and rocky road many times that we cannot understand as humans but i am convinced that we are all here for a specific reason and we are always trying to figure it out rather than letting it just happen.

If you have issues with your family, friends or whomever its important that you never ever give up on them the way i almost did. I feel that the advice that i gave in my earlier post was WRONG and i now retract that post telling you to think hard. Praying is talking to God and Meditation is listening to God. This is very overwhelming to me right now but i had to share this experience with everyone.

Yesterday I was also was looking on an old computer for some old stored data - an old article and i wanted to share it with everyone. Please take it to heart and again don't feel that i am trying to shove religion down anyones throat but the above experience did happen for me. Call it a miracle? I don't know but i now do believe in my heart of hearts that there is a God and God listens.....here is the data that i came across and want to share with you all........

Read Pt 2 next
please start a yahoogroup
by: guitaristmom61 at yahoo dot com

I started a yahoogroup. I hope this is okay. We who have had our siblings shun us need to have a support group so that we can talk, share, bond, become friends. We have empathy because we know first hand what it feels like to be kicked out of the family at holiday time simply because we are not liked. Hope to see you there.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LostSIblings/
My sister is constantly putting me down
by: Anonymous

I'm 18 and my sister is 28. We NEVER get along. She's constantly "making jokes" at me and when I make jokes to her it's a big deal, like I'm the worst person ever. She's 8 months pregnant and so she ALWAYS uses the whole I'm emotional so don't upset me excuse, and of course my parents get mad at me because shes pregnant and she "can't help it". Yeah that would be a good excuse if she wasn't this way before she was pregnant. She's constantly saying things to me like I don't want my daughter ending up like you as a teenager. Which I don't know where that comes from because I don't do anything wrong. I can't take it any more because my whole family is ALWAYS on her side and I never start any of the fights. I want to be in my nieces life more than anything but I just don't think I can be around her anymore :(
You are not alone in your problem!
by: Anonymous

I am a 57 year old male and also have a sister who despises me. Even worse - so does her daughter my niece. Why? No reason that I can think of. I have been a model uncle and a loving brother but the facts remain the same. Disrespect, non caring attitude, ignoring me at Holiday time etc. etc. There have been words exchanged on their part that I do not feel comfortable repeating here because I found them to be seething with venom shocking and hateful.

I try to make nice and to keep the peace no matter what only because I have an elderly Mother who does not need to see or get involved with this drama at this stage of her life but make no mistake in due time and when things move on I will cut all ties and communication with both my sister and my niece.

The heartache, stress and depression that they have gleefully and joyously contributed to my life should not and can not be tolerated. I have made a clear and focused decision to move on with my life and not let this unfortunate situation get the best of my mental being nor my physical health. In life we all strive for love and wish for family and friends. Sometimes and after reading these many threads I must say MANY times we cannot fill these wishes. Move on people, make your life yours. Fight life's fight, finish the race and keep the faith. We are all here on this earth for a reason and we much follow our path and take the journey. Seek out love and happiness elsewhere....you will find it.

In conclusion DO NOT be combative with your sibling in these situations... I'm not a Dr. but I am sure that this is an evil sickness that has its own life and it's an illness that we cannot control. Best to accept it for what it is and keep moving forward with your life. Blessings and Stay Strong!
You are not alone
by: Anonymous

I too have a sister who has no use for me. I should call it "hate" but I try and stay away from that word. She has even gone as far as to poison the minds of her 2 children to disregard me and treats me like I'm not family. Complete and utter disrespect, unwilling to communicate what the problem might be etc.

She did once say as did my niece that my Mother favored me as a child. Well that's not completely true. My mother was protective of me due to a personal issue and my sister was well aware of that problem so her feelings of me being favored should cancel out. There is one lesson that I have learned (I am an adult in my 50's) is that you cannot change a persons feelings toward you. My sister is set in her ways and nothing I can do or say will ever change her feelings. The same holds true for her 2 children especially my niece who has been vocal with me saying that I am no good, that she does not consider me family and that my bad karma will get me. I was shocked to hear those words especially since I have been a model uncle and I say that with truth and would swear to it under oath. The issue at hand here is a sickness that goes beyond my comprehension. I am not a Dr. and would not even begin to understand what makes them tick. It took many years of self guilt and depression for me to finally come to grips that the problem is not me nor has it ever been and the end result will fall into their own laps to face one day. I do not want to be around when the reality sets in and i plan to move on with my life and just not deal with them anymore. I would suggest the same for anyone else who suffers from this same problem. Move on, stay away, change your contact info and make the best of your life. We all would love to have family and that's one thing i always held in high esteem... to have that close knit family bond. Unfortunately for me that is not the case but i cannot and will not let it destroy me or hinder my quality of life. You must be strong and understand that YOU are not alone in the World. Out there are many people who love and appreciate you. If its not your family...then find it somewhere else.
Fight the Fight and Keep the Spirit. You matter in this world and there is a plan for you..... find that path and take the journey and most important try to be HAPPY!
I wish I had a sister who loved herself
by: Anonymous

I love her. I thought she loved me. We had our ups and downs. I'm 6 years older. She made some bad choices in men, had a few bad friends and had a baby at 16. (Sometimes this well happen in life.) I love her anyways.

Her husband of 10 years was sexually bothering children in the family. She stays with this monster of a man. She needs me more than ever now. She leaves the man after 10 years of this. I love her anyways. She now has a drug and alcohol problem. I help care for the kids. I love her still. How can it get worse? but it does.... She then is living with a boyfriend. She cheats on the guy kicks him out of their home they share. Gets married to new guy in less then 30 days. Has a big wedding does not want me in the wedding. I find out I was almost not invited at all. Her bar fly friends are in the wedding. They are so flaky. They don't even show up for the wedding to do the pre-wedding march. Now I'm in the pre-wedding march; because they are no shows and still not I'm not asked to be in the wedding. She does not let her kids come to my house any more. They all are homeless living on her new mother in laws living room they do not work, but they some how smoke and drink. I think she is hiding something and does not want the kids to talk to me. I'm lost she has cut me out!! I don't know what to do?? I love her... and the kids... so much it hurts. HELP!! HELP!! friends say its time to let go ....I never could even think something like this would happen!! she used to beg me to watch the kids so she could go out.... I'd have them sometimes weeks at a time.... Help what should I do ???
Same here..
by: Anonymous

My Sister is 4 1/2 years older than myself.
Since I can remember she has been cruel, when I was quite young she convinced me I had Downs Syndrome. The events are so numerous its blurs. The second to last event was putting a picture/profile on a sex site then conjuring up a story of how her daughter found it on her computer. (This was immediately after me telling her to stop chasing after her ex boyfriend when she is married). The copy was shown and took back so my Parents didn't have a reference for me. This picture was one my Mum has in the house and is on my Facebook (she was a friend on my Facebook at the time). She said her daughter found it looking for naughty children. We tried all manner of word searching nothing came up. We looked on sites nothing. I could have lost my job with that on the net, I work for a prestigious Jewellery brand. Then last was last year, around this time - November, she decided to arrange Christmas gatherings including Christmas and Boxing day without myself and my Son. When my Mum enquired if I would be going she stated she didn't want me in her house or life.
My Mum and Dad allow her to treat me this way. My sister tried to speak to me middle of the year, I ignored her and now I'm in the wrong..

I had to cut myself off last month from the rest of the family for my own sanity. Parents created a new will, placing my sisters husband as executor of the will, despite my parents stating he was dodgy and not to be trusted. I have come to the realisation I will never win no matter what I do. My other half brother and sister are no better both pass any information onto my sister, giving her more ammunition to fire at me, so I had to cut myself off.
My sister hates me too.
by: Anonymous

Well, you can not be mistaken when your older sister (7 years) tells you," I hate you and I have always hated you." It happened when I finally stood up to her and would not do her bidding as I usually do. I am 61 and she is 68. Silly isn't it? She has control of my mother who has alzheimers. I am now excommunicated from her house.


Yes there are two sides to every story,and I am not perfect. It is still hard to get over someone saying they hate you. I do not and never will hate her.

Once I was commenting on a scar I had on my arm and I did not know how it came to be. My sister said, "oh that is where I burned you with a fork when you were a baby." Then she said she was jealous of me. We laughed about it but it did make me feel really strange.

I am not sure how things are going to work out.
Responsibility
by: Anonymous

I googled "older sister hates me" and am glad I came across this site. I constantly preach about how all troubles in relationships stem from BOTH people involved. While I've made a decision to stop trying to be a part of my older sister's life, I have to look at my part. None of us are perfect and we all do things that annoy others no matter how our egos tell us differently. How we handle other people's character defects is what makes the difference in relationships, in my opinion.

Is my sister hateful? Yes. As far back as I can remember, she's been very mean and nasty towards me and our deceased mother, but puts on an act when deemed necessary. Am I hateful? No. I'm a coward. I run from bullies rather than tell them how I feel. I talk too much. I used to drink a lot, but stopped. I'm sure I caused a great deal of damage in our relationship, BUT, is it normal for my older sister to hold a grudge for over 30 years without ever mentioning it? Is it fair for her to throw it in my face when I offered (calmly) to make myself available so she could let me know what her issues are with me? No. It backfired. As a result, I lose my sister. I lose family gatherings. I lose my sister's daughter, son and grandchildren because she hates me.

Ether way, life goes on. Oh...and posting our dirty laundry is probably going to make matters worse should anyone in the family find out, but my goal is to share my story in hopes of helping the next person -- like some of your stories helped me.

Best of luck to you all.
It Is True!!!
by: Anonymous

My older sister convinced my elderly Mother to put all her bank accounts joint (millions of dollars).
This older sister already was a millionaire so she had the money to rent a car, fly from California to Florida every 6 months, buy my Mother things.
She convinced my Mother that she would take care of me (younger sister)... to put my half of what was left (minus the bank accounts which automatically go to older sister) in Trust and she would get hers outright.
There are books on "inheritance theft" and "how to cheat the unsuspecting sibling out of her inheritance"!!!!
This older sister did exactly what was in the book not only to me, but her husband's brothers Mother as well.
My Mother left some land to be sold, but this older sister refuses to sell it. She is also Trustee and Executor so she has every right not to sell to spite me.
This is the same sister who says she threw my birthday gifts to her in the garbage, or returned them for money.
She broke my heart....
If only my Mother saw she is not giving me a cent...

Now, she is a multi-millionaire and I cannot even paint my house!!!

This is true. Beware... money is the root of all evil, especially to greedy sisters.
This sister said I was a "curse left to her by my Mother".
Living life on my terms
by: Miss Hickory

My sister hates me too. I have known this from birth or so it seems. I am 58 years old now, and she is 61. She once told me that she envied the time my mother spent with me when we were children. For the life of me, I cannot imagine why because my mother beat me until I was black and blue until I left home at the age of 18.

Then when I became an adult, I traveled around the world with my military husband. She did not have this in her life--husband or travels. My sister always asked my parents weekly for money always starting her sentences with, "Well, I got a bill today." Then like an idiot, my father pulled out his check book and paid her bills. If he wasn't doing that, he purchased every car she ever owned...8, I think. Was I jealous? No. I was and still am happily married, traveling, pursuing my love for photography, learning foreign languages--I am up to 8 now, writing my first novel, and just embracing life on my terms. My mother just died at 92. And now my sister is saying that I do not need the inheritance because my husband is successful. I think my sister's words were, "You don't need it. I do." What have I taken from all the hatred that she feels for me? Well, that's just too bad. She's the one who missed out on life. And, as always, I wish her well. ;o)
Mine too
by: Anonymous

I decided over 2 years ago to finally cut my est sister out of my life for good - and I have never been happier, having cut loose this miserable, manipulative, vengeful, seethingly angry and negative person.

I finally have a mind of my own without someone telling me how to feel or what I think. Finally standing up to her cost me all of my personal possessions - including my wedding rings and china, which she sold along with everything else I owned - but it has been worth it. It's okay to cut someone out of your life if they are unhealthy for you - even if they are a member of your family. It happens in families all the time.
Older Sister
by: Anonymous

For the older sister of mine who throws my gifts in the garbage and scammed me...
Some people are just mentally sick...
I have found out through various means that she is just deranged and mentally sick from the guilt of stealing money from my elderly Mother.

I have cut her out of my life and am much happier!!

Try to do the same, for all of you that have these older sisters that dislike you. It is not you.... they are guilty for something (probably the way they treat you.... and the guilt is eating away at them.

Stay away and do not waste any more time trying to reason with them.
Me too... it's been like beating a dead horse trying to get my sister to like me
by: Anonymous

All my life I have felt hatred from my sister. When she's drinking she will tell me that she has always been jealous of me. Anything I say she "pooh-pooh's" with sarcasm and disdain. I'm going to be 61 and just realized that I have been beating a dead horse trying to get her to like me for all these years.

No matter what I do or say, she won't and never will like me. I have to give it up and realize that she has not outgrown her childish jealousies. It hurts because I still think there is something I can do or say... but, I know after numerous attempts, she never will care about me.

The family I yearn for can never be with her... I have to outgrow my yearning also and grow up. It's hard because I always wanted to be her friend. She's 2 years older than me.
After our brothers death, my sisters hate me.
by: Anonymous

I had a very close relationship with my sisters ages 58 and 52. Right after our brother passed away almost 2 year ago, my sisters turned their back on me. My brother was 6 years younger than me. I was the only one who had a close bond with our brother.

I do not know why they turned their back on me. I feel so empty. I lost my brother, and at the same time, my sisters turned their back on me. I feel so empty and sad. My family is torn apart.
what have I done to make her hate me so much
by: Anonymous

It is amazing to see how many people share my problem. My sister does not want her children to have contact with me either. I spend holidays alone, I have no other family. I don't understand how she can be so cruel. I am not sure what I have done to make her hate me so much.
for no reason
by: Anonymous

I always ask her why she hates me but she just says "You're annoying." We are only 4 years apart, I love her when shes not fighting with me but I feel like she doesn't want me or doesn't want to protect me ... xx
Watch what you post online
by: Anonymous

To all of you posting hateful and hurtful things about your family members, watch what you say online as it can all come back to haunt you.

Also, there are two sides to every story. So just because you think something is true or post something online, doesn't make it true or accurate. I would want to hear your family member's side of the story. Maybe you deserve what is happening to you, maybe you don't.

Maybe it's time to move on. Sisters or other family members don't have to like each other, get along or spend time together. The sooner people realize this and accept it, the happier everyone will be.

Debbie K.
sister dearest and mother dearest
by: happymoveforward

I'm glad that I am not the only one that is going through this situation. I seem to have a double whammy from both my sister and mother. Older sister tells mom nasty things about me, mostly negative to wedge a distance between my relationship with mom.
Its sad to know that my sister is that jealous of me and tells lies to keep me away and have the entire family hate me. She has fabricated so many lies about me that it hurts so much and at times I find myself weeping and praying for both of them. I pray for them and pray that I must forgive them. For they do not know what they are doing for hatred is very powerful. Sister dearest is very negative and miserable that she does not want me to me happy. Sister dearest has been doing this for years and has no remorse for her actions nor will take responsibility for what she does or anyone she hurts along the way.

The best thing that works for me is keeping away from sister dearest, having minimal contact now, having limited conversation and not tell her too much about my life. At the same time I will maintain a strong relationship with mom regardless of her nasty disposition, I will not have a negative conversation with her and have walked away with respect and remind her that I will not be part of this negative discussion and move on. I keep up a positive attitude, exercise and have positive friends around me. Good luck everyone.
I wish i didn't exsist
by: Anonymous

My sister hates me so much she wishes I didn't exist and I do too. I love my sister I couldn't live without her. I try to stay out of her way and I'm really pale naturally and after our fights I'm bright pink or red and my arms sting like crazy she hates my guts out and I do too
four years apart she hates me
by: Anonymous

Well my sister that's sixteen hates me she calls me names and she says she wishes she was an only child and then she says she loves me to death and then she is mad for no reason. I wish my life was easier, suicide isn't optional or homicide that's stupid. She cusses me out when I'm playing with my little brother and she always says that when I was little she used to choke me and
I laughed because it tickled.

She always says I'm annoying and she hates me sooooo bad and then she asks for something and expects me to do it and knowing me the nice person I am I do it. One day I'm waiting or when I'm so rich and she has to work as my nanny just to pay her bills. And all I will tell her is that karma SUCKS.
My sister hates me too!
by: Anonymous

Oh my gosh! I know exactly how all of you feel. My older sister hates me so much and I really don't know why. We are almost 2 years apart and throughout my whole life she has controlled me. She used to say that because I liked the same song as her I was copying her and that I couldn't get my hair straight for some reason cause she did it. Shes always calling me stupid and getting into fist fights with me and always brings me up when shes fighting with our mom (they fight horrible, like dysfunctional and it kills me). One time my mother and her got into a huge fight and she blamed me and said since shes pregnant that she wants to beat the shit outta me and that one day I'm gonna get abused by my husband because of my big mouth.

I try so so so hard to make her see how I feel but she really has no compassion and consideration for anyone. I try to tell her that what she says hurts but she doesn't care and she says things that if i said out loud no one would believe me. She goes around telling all of her friends how I have hickys and stuff which i dont it was a rash and it bothers me so much. Im glad to see that there are other people like me that have problems with their sisters hating them. Im only 18 and shes supposed to move out in 5 months and then i'll be better but I hope i can last that long.
3 out of 4 sisters hate me
by: Anonymous

It's amazing how sisters can be so different. My older sister is a religious zealot, she has always had a problem with me, I graduated from college, she didn't. She shoved my diploma so far back in a drawer it bent in half. She tells her children 3,4, and 5 that I don't have Jesus in my heart, and I worship false gods and idols. Which of course gets Crazy Catholic mother asking me if I pray and telling me how evil I am because I don't have a relationship with God. Translation I'm not phony like them by thanking God when a parking spot opens up at Target.

It's not like I haven't tried to have a relationship, but I didn't see the point of learning the books of the bible. I'm also not ghetto like they are. Another sister acts like she was raised in Watts, she has beaten the shit out of me more than once, and no one helped me. I was told I brought in on myself, I provoked her. I weigh 90lbs she weighs 130lbs, that must be it, I just want black eyes and fat lips. Don't call the police, my mother lied to back her baby up. I was called an ungrateful bitch. Gee mom, who drives you around, not your baby cause she's off collecting unemployment while waiting for her big break. The stripper sister, feels the need to give her sage advice since she is so learned. It's a shame adults can't grow up and respect other people, that jealousy and hate is masked with religious ritiousness. When you have a family that only likes to cause drama and bully one another, it's time to go.

I have cut all ties, I have no regrets only peace. I don't need family to tell me what a horrible, mean, and spiteful person I am while they are loving and kind all the time to me. I need help, I need to see a psychiatrist, I need to find a church because we all know that is the answer because I am a heathen. I tried to do everything to please them, until I realized nothing will. I don't hang out with Tawandas, listen to rap, my friends are educated and professional. I live for me, it's sad how my friends know me, and my family doesn't. You can't make someone like and respect you, I wish them whatever it is that makes them happy, but I'm through.
Im just a bucket of scum
by: Anonymous

I went to church tonight and my parents asked her to drive me and stop by and get dinner on the way. She stops by MacDonalds and orders her food in the drive through. I tell her what I want but she disregards it. She eats on the way and I ask if I can have a fry and she says that I'm a beggar and no I couldn't.

I went to church on the way home she told me I was worthless and I was a problem in her life and that I was annoying. I got home and my mom asked what we got and I told her I didn't eat and they started yelling over me. I feel so bad about myself
My sister hates me I can't tell why!
by: Anonymous

Ok first off I'm 3 years apart from my sister. She is 16, well just turned 16 and I'm 12 but ever since I can remember she has like hated me!

We have different dads but the same mom she is a single working mother and all that but, whenever me and my sister talk about friends and stuff she laughs and says she loves me and smiles at me and I feel all warm inside because I think "she finally loves me" but then she flips like a coin and tells me things that I never thought she would say.

First she only points out my flaws like I'm this worthless thing that shouldn't be alive I know it sounds a little dramatic but I don't know and I cry if I make her mad and when she tells me I'm a hypocrite or I have anger issues. The happiness or love I felt for her goes ice cold, I feel cold and numb like I can't breathe it hurts.

I feel she hates it that I am her sister and that she would like to have anyone else other than me, my mom says I cry to much, yeah I do, but it's because I don't understand! I never will what did I do! Was it because I was born because I could go away just I need to know why she hates me so!:'( please help me!!! :'(
She hates me!!!
by: kelly

My sister hates me. It's true.
Twin sister hates me
by: Alanna

I have an extremely racist family. Parents and twin sister do not like my boyfriend of 2 years from Poland. They think hes black, muslim, a terrorist, going to sell me into prostituion and slavery, well the list goes on.
I have told them laundry should be the only thing seperated by colour.


So I basically don't talk to my family anymore, once in a while i see them. My sister blames me for ruining the family when I did nothing wrong except love a guy.
My sister's birthday is coming up, well both of ours and i dont know what to get her anymore cause she hates me and says "f*** you", and threw our all my cards I ever gave her in her lifetime. So i dont know, we'll see, something small, it will either make me look like a hero if she doesnt give me a gift infront of my family or it will save my a**, cause who knows if she is giving me a gift.
G'luck everyone.
for all those with older sisters who hate them
by: Anonymous

Make sure your parents have a living trust because these issues with their contempt can go into how you are allowed to interract with parents.

My mom moved in with older sister who hates me and I am now only allowed to contact my mom if younger sister (who also hates me) is listening in on the phone. My mom and I spoke daily for 30 years and we were close. Now, they will not allow her to speak with me unless they are listening in.

Older sister will not let me know how she is spending it on her care, etc. My name is not on accounts. They don't update me on my mom's health care. If they hate you, make sure that your parents take steps in their trust and/or will to separate the estate from the contempt of the older sister for you.
My sister is close in age but not in life
by: Anonymous

My sister is 16 and I am turning 15 soon. She really gets on my nerves sometimes, for example, calling me names, always trying to annoy me, etc. The worst part is I can't avoid her because we live in the same room.

Also when I want privacy away from everyone, she is always in the room. I am not sure what to do but I need help in not trying to kill her every second of the day.
Older Sister Hates Me
by:

My sister is 8 years older than me.

She also will not invite me to her home, in fact I am not allowed to bring it up. She said if I ever mention again that I want to visit her, she will stop communicating with me. I have not done anything wrong to her. I ask her the reason why she dislikes me so much and she will not comment.

My older sister is very rich and I am poor. Since the death of my Mother, she broke loose and now treats me even worse. She will not help me financially. I send her birthday cards, write her emails, and she responds with another accusation.

I too, idolized her my whole life. I have tried everything I know to get her approval but it is to no avail. I told her I have diabetes, which I do. Months later, she brings this up and says I am a liar, that I would be on insulin if I really had it. I told her it is diabetes II, and it is not bad enough for injections. She asked me to prove I had it. I sent her the doctor report. She then said that my doctor is stupid like me.

VERY SAD and CONFUSED

BECKY
problems from past
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I feel the important issue here is the relationship you have with your daughter. Have you been honest with her about the things you have done in the past? If you can say yes, then nothing your sister tells her should make her turn against you because she has heard everything, and exactly how it happened from you.

Explain to your daughter that things you have done have perhaps not been the right things to do, that you made mistakes, and that you have learned from these and have put them firmly back in the past where they belong, and now live your life in a different way.

The past belongs in the past and shouldn't be raked up time and time again, however your sister doesn't seem to appreciate this. Each time she says these things to you she is reinforcing her dislike, and if she could forget the past and take each day as a new beginning things might become easier for her.

However you cannot change the way she is, but you can change how you react. She makes you feel bad because of the way she is, but if you can stop reacting to her comments (not easy, I know) this will stop you getting upset and stop the bad feelings circulating back and forth between the two of you.

Concentrate on the relationship you have with your daughter, and make it an open and honest one and this will draw you closer to each other.

Good luck for the future.
Kay

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