Possesive and controlling mother in law

by Lina
(England)

I have a big problem for my mother in law. Her possessiveness and controlling, dominating attitude hurt me very much. She believes that I am a barrier between her and her son. I protested against her thought but she has started to attack me verbally passively, by alleging his own son for negligence, though he is dutiful. When she comes, she takes the charge of everything and does not let me get involved although I have shown interest in involving many times.


Her behaviour to me becomes very good for a few days but after few days she starts to show her own colour. In simple issues she reacts very badly and scolds her son by saying that she is neglected because of his wife. She threatens us by saying that she will never come to our house. It is completely emotional blackmailing. She comes again and abuses me verbally passively. She asks her son about every household matters including cooking. She never asks me or tries to know my opinion about anything although I do everything as a housewife. When her son is absent she asks me. At her son's presence she forgets about my existence.

In my pregnancy period she came and took care of me but verbally abused me and alleged me for her unnecessary suspicion. She poked her nose in all matters including our quarrel without knowing anything and respecting our privacy. She always does this. My husband and father in law don't protest. It creates a lot of mental pressure.

My pregnancy period became worst for me. she insulted my parents many times and doubted that they are separating her son from her. I can't protest because of her emotional blackmailing. I am scare and suffer from low self esteem. I am depressed. I have good relation with my hubby but he is also helpless. I am going to be depressed and worry about my child.

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Possessive and controlling mother in law
by: Anonymous

This is a common situation and I think if you got out and talked to a few other people you would find they are facing the same problem.
A lot of it is jealousy plain and simple and jealousy is a horrible and corrosive emotion which can destroy the people around the jealous person.
She will finally have to realise that one day she is going to lose her son if this goes on.
Mothers can be really possessive of their sons and resent the women who take their place. She has been unable to let go and this is unfortunate.
One side of the female character is spitefulness for no reason at all and you get this in a lot of groups of women who love to put other women down to make themselves feel good. I struck it lots of times in the profession in which I was working.
It is a pity that your father in law cannot do something about this.
It might be better if you and your husband were to move right away if you can do this for the sake of your relationship and of your child as spiteful grandparents can cause a lot of harm to a family. If there is a possibility of your husband being able to move to another job in his employment that would solve the problem, you would not see so much of her then.

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