Toxicity

by Elizabeth

I would like to voice an opinion. Why are some people toxic and what is toxicity? Why do people when they want to exit membership of an organisation have to resort to picking a fight or exhibit pettiness over some minor matter which should not concern them? Is it spite or just plain meanness for the sake of creating mayhem?

I have encountered two cases of this recently, two people did just that, one complaining about a meal out, and the other one making a fuss over the way an organisation they belonged to was being run, both reasons seeming rather petty.

They could have had some reason to be concerned but it was the way they dealt with their complaints that did not go over very well, and offended the people they had contacted by the manner they had put across their remarks. They could have been a lot more tactful and perhaps get across a valid point. Usually they like to build up a trivial matter, and create a fuss just for the sake of a bit of attention.

There are the people regardless of circumstance who must make snide remarks for the sake of making them, mostly negative when in conversation generally. They put a dampener on any gathering, nothing is right, and they enjoy putting someone down when the other person has made an innocent remark.

There are others who argue that they are always right and they forget that other people have different opinions. All these people spoil events they may attend. The result of any encounter will make people avoid them at all cost. Then they wonder why they have no friends, or do they even care. Their unfortunate victim or victims are left wondering what they themselves have done.

Then there are the blow hot and cold people, one minute they greet you like a long lost friend, the next moment you are left wondering if you suffer from B.O. No one ever knows which way they will jump.

There are some people who take the easy way out regardless of the rights and welfare of their neighbours. If they see an opportunity where they can ride on someone's back, they will take advantage, by being somewhat plausible in their approaches. They are always out for themselves first, and will bend to using unscrupulous means to getting what they want.

How does one cope with these characters, do you rush away with a muttered excuse, or do you change the subject to get them off their tangent? Do you argue with them for the sake of an argument, or do you let this wash over you, not even listening perhaps just nodding your head now and then so that they think you are listening?

If you have to live or work with one of these people, what are you able to do to cope with them. Most people find a way with a bit of help and advice, others put up with the toxic person for years.

The small man or woman syndrome is a difficult scenario as people who are small in stature if they feel threatened and have to maintain their position, do tend towards bossiness, they fail to acknowledge that sometimes they may be wrong and hold to their opinions at all costs. They dominate the people who are unfortunate to be in their vicinity at all times.

Every case of difficult people varies and it takes a lot of courage to deal with each one according to how they may affect you and other people around them.

It may come to either flight or fight, bearing in mind that sometimes it might be hard to win.