Two Different People

I named my problem that because I feel as if I have changed as a person over the years. I went to a small grade school where I was at the top of my game. I was the most popular kid in my grade...I dated any girl I wanted to.. was the quarterback of the school and loved every minute of it.

My family moved so I went to a new high school where I didn't know anybody and joined the football team. I somehow finished 4 years of high school and managed to make some friends and seal a couple relationships. Two serious relationships which both ended badly. First one I lost my girlfriend to my best friend of 11 years. The second girl, the direction she was heading, lets just say it wouldn't have worked out,(shes getting married at the age of 20 to some drug dealer) eh.. anyways.

I haven't had anything close to a girlfriend and I think it's because of my first relationship. Before I get too confusing, I met my second girlfriend before my first, so I feel as if the first one was the one that lowered my self esteem.

Im now 19 years old and in my 2nd year of college (years since my girlfriend took my best friend) and I feel like a different person than I was. I no longer play sports because for some reason I feel out of place when I do that. I figure I didn't play sports so I didn't meet people, and when I do it's like Ive forgotten how to act towards people when I get the chance.

Things that worked before no longer do. I feel awkward talking to any new person I meet. I get nervous shakes, I don't really make eye contact, I can't think of the words I should say and they usually stop talking to me. It basically feels like my whole age group has changed and I was left behind.

I developed a habit of smoking marijuana in my free time. I don't plan on moving to crazy drugs or alcohol or any of that stupid stuff. I just smoke because it clears my mind and I don't wanna sit in my room because I end up doing stuff like this, typing to some random website.

I feel as if I'm the one that's just tagging along with people. as if I'm there. but it wouldn't matter if I wasn't. I have to call people to find a party just to attempt to meet new people. Nobody calls me. Once again I'm calling people who don't really care if I'm there, so I feel like I'm out of place everywhere I go.

I'm not looking for a miracle here, just some advice. I'm in my middle years here. and I get lonely :/ I don't wanna be that 50 year old guy that never found the right one.

Comments for Two Different People

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two different people
by: Mariya

You are still the same same person you were. You just learned and got hurt. You can become the person you want to be. Instead of looking for your one girl let her come to you. You are going "What the hell I want to find my one and you are telling me not to look" but you will find her. It takes two people to find each other not only one.

feeling lonely.
by: Anonymous

I am 50 year old woman. I work in an office and have a daughter aged 24 years not yet married. Husband is good but short tempered and loves me too much.

My problem is I don't make any friends in the working place because I have a feeling that they feel jealous of me because I look nice and I dress well and I work very systematically.

I sit separately and eat separately and don't mingle with anybody. I always think in my imagination that they may talk about me and my personal life. I always feel depressed. Kindly let me know how to handle this problem.

Thanks.

Unhappiness
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. You are still the same person you were as when you were younger and popular. What has changed are the thoughts you have about yourself. Basically, you don't like yourself or the life you lead.

This might be difficult for you to accept at the moment, but you have chosen everything in your life. Whatever thoughts you have about yourself, and how you are, have made you the person you are today.

If you want to change alter your thought pattern from self limiting thoughts to ones that make you feel good. You can't expect other people to like you when you don't like yourself. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I hope this will make you stop and think, so that you can reorganise your lifestyle to enable you to feel good about yourself.

Smoking marijuana, may be contributing to how you feel about yourself. Certainly there are many people your age who do not want friends who smoke this stuff. Although you think you are in control, it may well be the start down a slippery slope that you can't get back from.

Have you thought about joining a gym, going swimming, or some other clubs that you know of. This may be difficult for you to do initially, but it would be the start of feeling more confident about yourself and your life, and a way of making new friends.

When you start to like yourself you will begin to feel more confident and worthwhile inside. This is what is lacking. At the moment your attitude to yourself is not good and when you change this attitude you will change your life.

You can choose to be however you want. Everything that's happened to you is as the result of choices you have made, or reactions you have had to circumstances in your life.

When you concentrate on things that are going wrong, this attracts more negativity within you. when you start to tell yourself that you are a confident capable man, and say this often to yourself, you will become this way, and your life will change, and guess what? People will want to be with you because you'll be a special sort of guy!

The choice is yours. I hope you make it the right one, if you do, your phone wont stop ringing!

Love
Kay
(Random website lol)

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